The Landlocked Sailor

International Travels ...

2007-11-09T11:28:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here in the 'mall' at Kuwait City International Airport. My flight for home doesn't leave for five hours, so I have some time to kill. I guess I'll do some people watching. See you all soon! Until tomorrow ... literally.

-Grease out

The definition of irony ...

2007-11-05T01:11:00.000-05:00

A man has a vehicle for a year. He makes fun of it endlessly and the truck never lets him down. He doesn't care very much whether it works or not, because he's not in a huge rush to get anywhere.

On the final day, the man has a truck. He sings it's praises and needs it VERY MUCH to get him to the airport so he can fly home. He IS in a rush and has somewhere to be. The truck responds by having a dead battery.....

More to follow ....

-Grease out

Congrats Navy!!

2007-11-03T19:02:00.000-04:00

After 43 years, you guys got one! Due to the lack of coverage on AFN, I can't speak with any knowledge on the ND program this year. That being said, one would have to wonder if this team has quit on the coach. Either way, I really hate losing. It's not that I expect us to win every game, far from it; it's just that so many folks HATE ND, the comments are a bit much (especially from the mainstream media).

All that aside, HUGE props to the Midshipmen of Navy. They played their hearts out today and deserved the win. I feel compelled to send congrats to my brother-in-law Pat, a Naval Academy grad. I owe you a bottle of scotch! Ugh, you knew it would happen someday (like death and taxes), but you hope it wouldn't. Oh well, next year 12-0 (hey, a boy can dream, right?). Until tomorrow.

-Grease out

The Lame-Duck Times ...

2007-10-31T15:33:00.000-04:00

That's it! I've finished my turnover, attended my last meeting and shipped all my stuff home. All I need now is a plane flight out of here, and that will happen in just over a week. It's been an odd week - ever since I announced my pending departure, (in the way so many do these days ... an Outlook 'Out-of-Office' message) I have found my inbox frighteningly quiet. As described in a previous post, the war must go on, and there is no reason to continue E-mailing a guy who isn't in the job anymore. At the high point, I was averaging over one hundred E-mails a day (many of them were 'informational copies' not requiring action - but the majority required some response on my part) ... over the last four days ... six. Not six a day, mind you, but ... six. I am Jack's inner boredom. I still had to attend the last few meetings with Aaron, but the job is his now. I just sit in the back to provide historical reference if needed. I'd love to say that I'm saddened by my new found apparent lack of value, but I understand the need to move forward. I'm just happy that my relief has the same drive and excitement for the job I did, so many months ago. To him, there's no reason to accept 'no' for an answer. He doesn't have the history of running into the bureaucracy of a large occupying force, so he's able to dream big.

I really believe that reason is justification for the 280 day tour (the Army does 12-15 months - 15 for deploying units, 12 for Individual Augmentees, the Air Force does 6 or 12 months, and the Navy does 6 month, 12 month and 280 day (just under 10 months)). Folks here for 6 months never really have time to 'get into' their jobs before they start preparing to leave. 12 month folks get burned out after about 9 months. The 280 day IA has allowed me to understand the job and make some positive impact, without getting to the point where I'm so burnt out that I don't care anymore (not saying that all folks here for 12 months get to that point, but I have seen it more than a few times). Some of the Navy folks like the idea of 6 month tours (standard for our shipboard deployments), but my problem with that is: when you go on a six month Navy deployment, we are doing the job we have trained for our entire career - the 'spin-up' process is much smaller. When you come to a job such as this, you have to learn an entirely new way of looking at the battlespace. It takes several months before you are a fully functional member of the team. If you're here for only six months, you may be more than halfway through your tour before you can start to contribute at your full potential. The folks over here don't have time to wait for you to 'get it.' If you're not part of the team ... they'll find someone who is. It gets frustrating to find someone who can really help your efforts, only to have them tell you that they are on the way out the door in a few weeks. Either way, I'm glad it's over.

Over the next few days, I'll be killing time in my trailer waiting for my flight to Kuwait. The Navy rapidly realized the need for a 'transition program' to help Sailors re-acclimatize to life at home. When we're on shipboard deployments, we do some of this on the long journey home from our forward deployed station. Here, the answer is the Warrior Transition Program. It allows us to return all of the gear the Army so graciously lent us, and sit through some briefings to help us transition to home (read: Death by Powerpoint). The original version of WTP was reported to be a pain in the butt on your way home. The Navy responded by actually LISTENING to the critiques and adjusting the course. The feedback we get now is that WTP has some hassles, but is mostly free-time to allow one to 'de-compress.' I'm looking forward to that. I have some friends from my early training that will be travelling with me, so I'll have some folks to hang out with (Hee-Haw has already decided that we should spend most of our free-time playing Halo 2 - I know Halo 3 is on the market, but we're creatures of habit). I'll probably write a bit more before I get home, but this is probably the last 'large post' of The Landlocked Sailor. I want to take a moment to thank each of you for following along with me for the last ten months. It may seem crazy, but in some ways I feel like it's been a conversation (albeit a long, one-sided one) with folks who, although you may not totally understand whats going on over here, are willing to listen. I started this a way to keep the family in the loop about my adventures, but it turned into a way to keep some sanity in an insane place. Anyway, thanks for listening. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Thought for the day

2007-10-31T14:39:00.000-04:00

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go

I'm standin' here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn

The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn

Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go'

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to go

"Leaving on a Jet Plane" -

John Denver - 1967

Turnover ...

2007-10-23T15:26:00.000-04:00

It's official, I've begun turning my duties over to Aaron, my relief. He's watching me go through a typical week this week, and next week I'll observe him. After we're done with that ... I'm gone. To say that Aaron was a bit overwhelmed at the scope of the job is an understatement. It's not that the job is that tough, it's more learning about how we do business over here. I had forgotten how bizarre this world can be. Like any military job, we have our own language here. Aaron has spent the last few days listening and giving me that telling look that means, "uhhh, what does that acronym mean?" Thankfully, he comes from good stock (in previous jobs) and doesn't need too much coaching when it comes to staff work. I saw some lightbulbs come on this afternoon when he started to realize our role in the war. Turnovers like this are easier because there is a light at the end of the tunnel for me, thus making me energetic about the passdown. It's a ton easier to take your time with a guy who's learning when you have a positive outlook. That, and he has what we all did when we arrived - energy. I'd love to think that the IAG can't do without me, but many years of Naval service have taught me one thing - the show will go on, even if you're not there. The constant risk of a person not being there in the morning makes us keep our jobs ready to turnover at a moments notice. You have to have all your tiny parts organized and ready to go, in the event that you're not there to teach the new guy. Morbid? .. yes, but reality.

I took Aaron on the usual tour of our home here in Baghdad, stopping at all the scenic spots that Kenny showed me all those months ago. I even stopped to take the exact same picture of a man and his Humvee that I posted in the early days of The Landlocked Sailor. It doesn't seem like it's been ten months since I started this journey. My life has changed in countless ways in the time that I've been gone: My father is no longer with us, but I'm blessed with two wonderful new babies and countless new friends along the way. I've also witnessed history over here: this place was a nightmare when I arrived - each day seemed a bit scarier than the last. Over time, however, things seemed to get more sane. At first I thought I was just getting used to the insanity, but I looked back at the data over the months - there has been real change here. It's something the mainstream media won't tell you. The work is far from over, but it IS WORKING. I wasn't sure about General Petraeus' plan for the surge when I arrived, but over time I've come to see how brilliant it was. It's not just taking back Baghdad, it's showing the people what can happen if they unite behind the flag instead of secular causes. We jokingly use the phrase, "strike another blow for Democracy," but that's more truth than fiction. Every time I read about a unit of the Iraqi Security Forces taking control of an area, it does my heart good. These men are PROUD of what they're doing, and they try daily to emulate the Coalition forces (specifically the U.S.). They see the pride these kids have in our flag, and realize they can have that too. I really hope we stay the course here, we owe it to these folks - we challenged them, and they answered. Let's help them the rest of the way. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

P.S. I have to include this picture because a buddy of mine back home was making fun of me when I told him that I could actually shoot a weapon pretty well. We had a weapons shoot the other day, and I decided to try to get my "Expert" qual on the M-16. I'm no Marine ... but I can hold my own. This is the modified target - instead of a 300 meter range with human size targets, you get a 25 meter range with targets accurately sized to simulate shots up to and including 300 m. Four shots per target, 40 in all - 36 gets you Expert ... I shot 38. The ball is in your court now, "Blondie!"

Wow ...

2007-10-21T04:49:00.000-04:00

Never have I seen an ND team stink this bad. Get your gameface on Navy, this is your year. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

My new best friend ...

2007-10-14T14:17:00.000-04:00

I met my new best friend today. I can't tell you his name, for security reasons, but we'll call him Aaron. I forgot what it's like to be brand new in this theater. His group arrived this morning and we stopped by to visit this afternoon. I spent about an hour with them answering some basic questions - basic to us, we've been here for ten months - quite important to them. "How do I plug in my laptop?" "Where can I call home?" "What do you people do here, anyway?" I'm looking forward to giving Aaron the grand tour - he seems eager to learn about our job and some of the other specifics about the war effort. This is a good thing - some folks show up here without any desire to further the effort - they just want to do their time and go home. For many of the jobs here, that's enough. But for ours - you need to go the extra mile to get the job done. I think this is why the JCCS job is so rewarding to many; by putting in the extra effort, you will see real progress during your time here. Either way, I'm just glad the guy showed up.

Today was one of those days where I felt like I was able to tie up many of the loose ends needed before I turn my job over. I finally found someone who would fix my "war machine" humvee and I saw one of my larger projects meet my goal for my time here (I wanted my biggest project to reach the 30% complete point before I left here - It's a project that will take well over a year, but all of the major groundwork has been completed - now I just have to wait for the the wheels of this large machine to turn - hence the 30% complete point). I'm starting to feel like I have reached a point where I will give Aaron a turnover that is as good as could be expected. I recieved a wonderful turnover from my predecessor Kenny, and I wanted to make sure that I returned the favor.

Today was also one of those days where you realize that this place is still dangerous, despite the conditions we find ourselves in. I'm sure many of you heard of the attacks we've had on the base in the past few weeks. I've found myself closer to both major attacks than I would care to be - mostly through sheer, dumb luck. Today was no different. After we left the truck with the repair guys, we returned to the office to find a crowd discussing an incident that happened in our compound - no one was hurt, or even in that much danger - but it was still startling. Obviously I can't give you any particulars, but lets just say we proved the laws of Gravity with a small touch of Newton's Third Law of Motion tonight. Things tend to get crazy around the end of Ramadan, and this year was no exception. The three day holiday (Eid al Fitr) that marks the end of Ramadan was held over this weekend, and tensions were a bit high. This being my third Ramadan in the Persian Gulf, I though I was prepared for it. But being on the ground in Baghdad is worlds different than being on a ship in the Gulf or on portcall in Bahrain or Dubai. I've never claimed to be a learned scholar of Islam, but I feel I have a better understanding after experiencing the month of Ramadan from ground zero. Oh well, It's time to start packing in earnest. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

The sweetest victory ...

2007-10-08T15:25:00.000-04:00

is the first one. Congrats to the Irish! I sat up on Saturday night until 7:00 AM Sunday morning listening to the game via web radio. I don't know if we'll win another game this year, but we at least avoided the goose egg.

Sorry I've been away for a few days, but immediately after I listened to my Irish beat UCLA, my internet went away. Apparently the local LAN on my pad (area where they have a group of trailers) has one chokepoint - it all starts from my next-door neighbor's trailer and branches out to all of us. Our best guess is, the guy next to me went home on his mid-tour leave and turned off all of the powered devices in the trailer upon his departure ... including his router. I don't blame the guy for killing the power - things in Iraq have a tendency to catch on fire due to faulty wiring. I can't tell you how many times I've either heard of or seen a wire melt and explode into small flames around here. It's happened in our office twice in the last month. We buy our extension cords from the Hajji mart, who gets them from China ... you do the math. Either way, our old LAN is kaput (at least until the guy gets back).

So how, do you ask, are you posting right now? Once again my friends at Magic Island came through. When hit with a rash of service complaints this morning, the powers that be at my local internet provider decided to install a new LAN that is located on the OUTSIDE of the trailers (much easier to maintain). My friend, the install guy, promised it would be as reliable and speedy as the old one (where my wireless router was in my trailer). So far, it's working like a charm - then again not everyone knows that we are on a new network yet ...

Okay, I'm going to hit some other sites to catch up on some reading I missed in the last three days. I'll try to come up with a more interesting topic for later this week. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Cubicles ...

2007-10-03T17:00:00.000-04:00

I promised you a post on building a cubicle jungle in Iraq. Unfortunately, our contractor brought the wrong cubicles for the job (didn't fulfill what the contract asked for). So, we refused to accept the product and now have to go back into the bidding process (what makes this even more thrilling is that we effectively lose the funds since they were allocated in Fiscal Year '07). When we asked why they didn't look in the boxes BEFORE they made delivery (you know ... to see if they were delivering the right stuff), the response was ... Inshallah. Wow ... I am beside myself.

Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

My uncensored Id ...

2007-10-02T13:27:00.001-04:00

During every deployment, there comes a time when you find yourself less bound by the conventional rules of behavior. I guess I have to clarify that, it's not that you go out and start shooting up the town, it's more along the lines of not being afraid to speak your mind - even if the subject/conclusion isn't popular. I find myself careening headlong into this period of the deployment. I realized it today, during the weekly staff meeting. After listening to briefer after briefer talk endlessly about programs that seem to have no point, I threw out a side comment about how pointless some of our tasks are (We had a heated discussion about the necessity of pull-up bars for the Iraqi military). Most of the others looked at me with shock (being one of the senior guys in the department, I'm expected to be a "kool-aid drinker"). My boss just laughed and quietly remarked, "the uncensored Id." We talked about it later and he understood that I didn't mean to belittle our work, but that it does get frustrating dealing with folks who don't always seem to want to move forward. I've overheard him say, "Rebuilding Iraq would be so much easier, if it weren't for the Iraqis." You know what ... some days he's right. It's a difference in culture over here. When faced with a difficult task, the Iraqi response is often "Inshallah" - if Allah wills it. Where we would ask what is needed, what can we do, they say "Inshallah." I'm not kidding on this one ... you sign a contract to have 200 widgets delivered and the guy shows up with 100 - Inshallah; you plan the meeting for 10:00 AM and no one shows until 11:30 - Inshallah. I'm going to take it home with me ... Honey, did you take out the garbage ... Inshallah! My boss looks at it as another one of those signs that it's time for me to go home. He doesn't want to see me go (I'm one of the one who has really "bought in" to his vision for our staff), but he realizes that a person cannot do this job non-stop without needing some down time. I may wind up back here someday, and when I return I will be full of the vigor and drive needed to get the job done; but as I approach the end of a VERY long year ... Inshallah, it's time for Grease to head for the homestead and spend some time with a wife and four kids who need him as much as the Coalition does. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

P.S. Tomorrow, we will examine how many folks are required to assemble office furniture and how long it should take (I'll give you a hint: the number is greater than what we had and the time is more than we expected)

Honors and benefits at such a young age! ...

2007-10-01T15:34:00.000-04:00

Okay, a dollar for the first person who can identify the movie quote that has given me today's title. I'll give you a hint: This movie is a TBS/TNT staple, but only during a certain part of the year.

In all seriousness, I feel honored as a baby blogger today. If you look at the first comment on yesterday's blog (the one about the bizarre Iraqi time change), you'll see that I was picked up to be on the daily blogroll of The Thunder Run today. It's nice to see others finding enjoyment in the silliness of my daily life. If you haven't ever checked out Thunder Run, you may like it (it's more along the lines of a political blog, but they dedicate a large portion of their space to supporting military bloggers - pretty darn cool if you ask me). I'll have to remember this in job interviews - I'm a published author - ha, ha. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out

P.S. I found another video from the E-2C guys who were such a YouTube hit last year with their "Hey Ya" and "Pump It" videos. These guys are a riot, and they have some creative minds in that squadron. Enjoy!

VAW-113 presents "Move Along"

Spring ahead, fall back ... sort of ...

2007-09-30T16:05:00.000-04:00

Okay, I promised to tell you how the Government of Iraq (GOI) is trying to drive us insane through confusion. It all concerns the seasonal time change that so many of you will go through in about three weeks. You all probably remember that the U.S. used to change time this weekend during the year, but moved the spring and fall time changes, for some strange reason, by three weeks. This is no big deal if you live in the U.S. and you know the new time change date. In Iraq, however ... it's a nightmare of biblical proportions.

When I went to college in South Bend, IN we were used to strange issues related to the seasonal time change. Back in those days, Indiana did not participate in Daylight Savings Time with the rest of the country. So, for six months out of the year, we were in a different time zone than Michigan. This would not be a big deal, unless you factor in that the state of Michigan BORDERS South Bend, IN. Invariably, this lead to confusion when you had anything to do in Michigan. It also led to confusion when you realized that you weren't sure what time it was at home anymore. I can't tell you how many times I called my house at the "wrong" time (according to my parents ... apparently phone calls at 10 PM are a no-no in my house). We would blame our mistakes on the time zone thing. They don't have this excuse anymore since Indiana has moved into the 20th century and subscribed to Daylight Savings Time.

Back to Iraq - the GOI (with some prodding from the U.S.) decided to implement DST since the U.S. presence here. They, however, keep the change weekends the same as the original weekends in the U.S. Since the U.S. changed weekends, this has led to mass confusion in the GOI. This week, we didn't know when the change date would be until the DAY prior. This creates some issues when trying to schedule things for the following week. If that wasn't bad enough, at 7:45 PM on the night that we were scheduled to change over, we received an E-mail telling us that the GOI decided to change the date by 24 hours. Only problem with that is: probably half of the folks who needed to know about it were at their computers at 7:45 PM. Needless to say, most folks went through today not knowing what time it is. I'm sitting here in the "Golden Hour" of time where I have just reset my clock and am back in the month of September ... after spending approximately 15 seconds in October. It's enough to give you headache from having to think about it. So I'm going to bed ... hopefully I will wake up at the right time and hopefully this is the last time I have to deal with idiocy from the GOI while I'm here ... but I'm not holding my breath on that one. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Wilford Brimley ...

2007-09-29T16:40:00.000-04:00

That's all I have to say about Purdue. Although we looked good in the second half (either that or they looked bad). Thanks to all of you who sent E-mails agreeing with me about the Service Banner post (It's nice to know that I'm not a) insane or b) overly critical). I talked with the exchange manager the next day and explained my concerns about the flags. She told me something about it being on the standard list of items the exchange carries, then she quietly mentioned that we probably received them in the front because they didn't sell in the rear (back in the States). This makes sense, but it doesn't excuse them from the lunacy of the display. She immediately took them away and we haven't seen them back since. Score one for the good guys (or should I say score one for tact).

I told you before that I had some big news ... my homecoming is in sight! I was farewelled today from the IAG and should be home before Thanksgiving! Some of you knew this already, but we kept the info kind of close aboard, so as not to raise false hopes. They farewelled me today because I may be gone before they do another one. I'm really not a big fan of farewells, you always walk away wishing you had said more or thanked more folks. I did get some nice parting gifts. The coin the IAG has is one of the better ones I've seen and the prayer rug is a neat memento. Either way, the light at the end of the tunnel is growing, and this time it's not a train. They may still toy with my emotions and tell me that my trip home is on hold, but I'm pretty sure I'm good. I even know my replacement's name! We'll call him Doug, for now (cause that's his name - as always, no last names - don't want to get in trouble for my blog ... again).

Well, I'll sign off for tonight. I'll keep you posted on my potential homecoming. I just had a wave of sadness come over me ... my homecoming means the end (for now) of the Landlocked Sailor ... okay, that passed. Have a great Sunday! Tomorrow, I'll tell you a bit about how the Government of Iraq is determined to drive us insane ... much like the state of Indiana did for many years. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out

Stupidity ...

2007-09-25T13:48:00.000-04:00

I'm going to take a moment away from lamenting the current Notre Dame Football season (we stink, I know ... but in two years we are going to be AMAZING!), and concentrate all of my ranting ability on an enemy of servicemen and women everywhere - The military exchange system.

For those of you who are not familiar with military exchanges, they are government run stores that sell items at or below cost (at least that's what they tell us - to be honest, I've never found their prices competitive with the Walmarts/Sam's Clubs of the world - Apparently, they are a deal if you are stationed overseas, but in the states ... not so much). They carry a wide selection of brands that you won't find in other stores because ... no one wants to buy those brands. They advertise endlessly (I get more junk mail from them than anywhere else), but that's like the power company putting ads on your local TV - Do I have a choice in where I get my power? No matter how hard they try, they always seem to screw it up somehow.

I've given them a lot of slack over here, because it is a war zone, after all. They are not going to get all of the things we ask for, but they make do pretty well. The biggest problem I have is some of the things that they DO get, things we would never need in a million years. Last week, I saw two PALLETS full of dry dog food ... hmmm. Against my better judgement, I asked why. The nice assistant manager lady told me that the food could be for the military working dogs. Really ... good thing they thought of that, because I'm sure the Army sent dog teams over here with no thought of how to feed them. Needless to say, the food remained untouched until it was removed en masse earlier this week by a stockboy. Sometimes it seems like the exchange service sends items over to us that did not sell in the states. They have an entire display wall of 56 inch plasma TV's ... you know, for those soldiers living in 1/3 of a trailer. That, and we spent most of the summer looking at racks of Under Armour t-shirts that were either green (not an approved color for wear with the uniforms) or extra-small (for all those 4'5" soldiers in the crowd).

Now, all of those issues I could overlook - back to the war zone thing. But the lunacy I saw today made my stomach turn. I walked by the flag display (and end-cap full of U.S. and Iraqi flags for use on your trailer, etc.), and I saw that they were now stocking Service Banners.

-break, break-

Some of you know what Service Banners are, for those who don't:

A Service Flag in the United States is an official banner that family members of service members in harm's way can display. The flag or banner is defined as a white field with a red border, with a blue star for each family member in active duty

They were first used in World War I, but truly became popular in World War II and Vietnam. Quite a few soldiers' families have them today (I know that my wife, Mom, sister and my in-laws have been flying them since I departed for Iraq). There are two types of banners: ones with blue stars, indicating a family member serving overseas, and ones with gold stars, indicating that a family member has died in wartime service to our country (If you've ever heard of the group, the Gold Star Mothers, now you know why they have that name). It's a show of pride in a family's sacrifice in a time of war.

-break, break-

Okay, so back to our helpful exchange service. I saw the display of Service Banners and thought, "That's nice, now Soldiers can send a banner home to Mom and Dad." That is, until I looked again and realized that they ordered an entire display (more than one hundred in all) of GOLD STAR FLAGS. The packaging even clearly states that they are used for service members killed in combat. I actually stopped a Soldier in line who had three of them to send home to his family. After explaining what the flags signified, the soldier looked at what was in his hand with what appeared to be disgust and quietly placed them on the nearest display. I know that he immediately thought of what thoughts would go through his family's minds when they opened that "package from the front." I couldn't find a store manager to ask about the tastefulness of the display, so I'm left to wonder: Do these people want to negatively impact morale? Are they that incompetent? Or do they just not care? It's hard enough some days to keep morale up, without the exchange sabotaging the effort. My fear is that these people just don't care - to them it's just a job, nothing more. They don't realize the impact they have on the attitudes of Soldiers in theater. I've mentioned before that I'm not a big fan of the "contractor's war," but at least the government contractors have a clue about what our service here means to us. I guarantee that this would never happen if the store was run by Soldiers (or Sailors as is the case in the Ship's Stores underway). Someone in the approval chain would question the choice to place flags designed for families of fallen Soldiers in a place used by the ones who face that challenge every day. I'm frustrated by the lack of personal integrity and pride in your work that seems to pervade so much of our society.

Okay, I'll get off the soapbox (actually, I'll get off the soapbox tomorrow when I find a store manager and ask why they are selling Gold Star Flags in the exchange). Please know that we are keeping morale high and believe in our work, despite the efforts (or lack of any effort) of others. Stay tuned sports fans, I may have some BIG NEWS in the weeks to come. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

If Football were Golf, Notre Dame would be unbeaten ...

2007-09-15T18:47:00.000-04:00

Football being football however, ... that means we stink this year. I just sat through a 38-0 nightmare loss to Michigan. The only high point of the game was the Cuban cigar I enjoyed before kickoff. I know, in my heart of hearts, that we will improve ... eventually, but this is not the year. Our offensive line is ... offensive. Once again, I'm glad that of all the years to be overseas, this is the one when it comes to football. All I can say is: get your game faces on Navy fans ... this will be your year.

Other than that, life is good here. The temperatures are beginning to fall and the days are getting shorter. Ramadan began this week, which brings some new challenges for our guys. This is my second Ramadan in the Middle East, and I'm still trying to learn as much as possible about this Islamic Holy Month. I'll pass on tidbits as I get them.

The ND game has kind of taken the wind out of me, so I'll sign off. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Fight on ...

2007-09-09T12:53:00.000-04:00

Penn State! Congrats to my PSU friends on a good win over my Irish. Like I said, my guys weren't as bad as last week ... but they were close. I'm glad to be over here for this season while we rebuild (I know Coach Weis said that this isn't a rebuilding year, but c'mon ... who are we kidding here - we went from an offense that regularly put up 40 on the scoreboard to one that has yet to earn a rushing yard this year ... rebuilding is a nice term for it).

One thing that has me mildly amused, I don't think we've ever had a day in our house where all three of our teams lost on the same day (ND, Michigan, Georgia). I was sad to see UGA lose ... I don't know of anyone who actually likes Spurrier (except folks from FL or SC ... maybe the folks from Duke), and I hate to see him win almost as much as I hate to see UGA lose. Oh well, congrats, Blondie and all you other Nittany Lions out there (what the hell is a "Nittany Lion," anyway ... and what's up with the "White Out" - It didn't seem very intimidating, more like a gentle snowfall ... the noise, yes (that worked), but 110,000 folks in wife-beaters? Not so much). Good luck the rest of your season! I get to look forward to Michigan next week - at least one of us will have a win at the end of the day ... unless we're both so inept they decide to call the game and award points to teams that have beaten us previously. I was amused at Michigan running back Mike Hart who guaranteed a win over the Irish next Saturday. The follow-up question to his statement was, "Even without quarterback Chad Henne?" Hart, (apparently not aware that Henne's injury would keep him out of the ND game - I guess they forgot to include him on that E-mail) came back with a surpised, "Oh, well then that's a different story." - Nice - We can win, we can kick your butts!! What? The QB is out? Oh then, all bets are off.

Thankfully football keeps me somewhat sane over here. My time is winding down quickly, and the temps are finally dropping to acceptable levels (topped out at 107 today ... felt like a cold snap ... seriously, it felt like sweatshirt weather). But the job goes on. This week should be interesting with Gen. Petraeus' testimony, the beginnning of Ramadan and the Sep 11th anniversary all in one week. I'm interested to see what the reaction is over here. I'll keep you posted. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

It's still the most wonderful time of the year ...

2007-09-08T15:36:00.000-04:00

Despite the difficulties my Irish faced last week. At this point in life I have realized that there is more in life than college football (much to the relief of my wife ... I used to be unbearable after a loss). I do enjoy the pageantry and competition of the college game. I think it's good from time to time to have "traditional powerhouses" stumble during the season - it makes the game more interesting. I'm sitting here watching the Michigan-Oregon game (rooting for the Ducks and their goofy uniforms, of course). I can't help it, I'm just not a Michigan fan. Four years of schooling in South Bend, IN makes you a Michigan hater ... later in life as you mature, you go from being a hater to just a non-fan. Well, an in-game update: Michigan threw a HORRIBLE interception on their first drive, and Oregon has the ball on the UM 6 yard line - Go Ducks!

One thing I have noticed about college football: There is no rhyme or reason to who you root for. I've seen kids grow up in a Georgia household, where everything is about the Bulldogs, become lifelong Georgia Tech fans. Nuts, Oregon is going to have to settle for the field goal ... good! Oregon 3 - Michigan 0. The other thing I've noticed about college football is one of the bad parts: It tends to bring out the worst in people. Some of the stories you hear about folks visiting their rivals stadium or some of the vitrolic hatred you see spewed on the internet is evidence of this. I just don't see how you can lose your humanity over a football game. My Dad an I always hated the phone call after the ND-UM game, one of us would get to gloat a bit, the other wouldn't say much. The difference with us was: by the end of the call, the joy/pain of an outcome was forgotten and we were talking about the relative strengths/weaknesses of each other's team. Oh well, only two hours until the Irish take on Penn State. I really don't know what the outcome will be. I know that ND can't be as bad as they looked last week, but I also know that Penn State looked great playing a patsy. We'll see. Good luck to all of your teams today (unless you're a wolverine, ha, ha). Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

It's the most wonderful time of the year ...

2007-09-01T13:34:00.000-04:00

No, not Christmas ... the beginning of the college football season. Specifically, the first Notre Dame game of the year. If you check out the countdown timer on the left side of the blog, it will tell you the time remaining until the next ND game. That being said, it's a good day. The ND game is on at 2330 (11:30 PM for you non-military types) and the Georgia game is on at 0245 tomorrow morning (yes, I will be watching).

I talked to my sister earlier today, and we both agreed - today, of all days, we miss our Dad. College football was something that the three of us shared for so many years. He was, and is, a Michigan fan. I obviously am an ND man, and my sister is a UGA grad (twice over). We have always rooted for the other's schools, except of course, when playing each other (I secretly root against Michigan, but that's okay, my Dad secretly rooted against the Irish many days ... BTW, Michigan is down 28-14 at the half to APPALACHIAN STATE ... they deserve to lose for scheduling a 1-AA team). I always looked forward to Saturday when my Dad and I would call each other following "game-changing" moments. We would talk an average of ten times through the course of a Saturday. College football Saturdays are one of my favorite parts of the year, but there is definitely something missing this year. I hope as I grow older, I can share the same joy for sport with my kids. Oh well, back to the games. Go Irish, Go Dawgs, and (for the love of pete!) C'mon Michigan, it's App St. for crying out loud. Until tomorrow. -Grease out.

I guess I spoke too soon ...

2007-08-29T14:00:00.000-04:00

My new roommate moved out today. It turns out he was a transient ... not a psycho killer, though, so we've got that going for us ... which is nice. I guess it's all for the best, with the first Notre Dame game coming on this Saturday night, I'd hate to disturb him as I watch (whether the night is good or bad for the Irish, it looks to be exciting - I'd hate to wake him up with my cheering). Oh well, back to the single life ... I didn't even learn his name. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Development!!!

2007-08-24T15:39:00.003-04:00

I arrived home today to a HUGE surprise. In month seven of my "Iraqi vacation," after more than five months of living in my cushy, wet trailer ... I have a roommate! I have no idea who this guy is, or what he does, but I did see him for about three seconds tonight as he closed the door to the bathroom when he got ready for bed. I came home today and did my usual check of the next room to see if there had been any change, and found a pile of KBR issued linens on the empty bed. Now, before we get our hopes up, he could be a transient, only here for a few days ... come to think of it, he could also be a psycho-killer ... hmmm, note to self: lock the door to the bathroom on the way to bed. The fact that he didn't say "hi" or introduce himself leads me to believe that living next to this guy could be much like not living next to anyone at all, but the juries still out on that one. We'll just have to see. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

P.S. Darling sister, I did NOT hold up a Notre Dame flag as I threatened during the UGA shout out. They asked me after if I wanted to do a personal shout-out for broadcast at Notre Dame, and I reminded them that REAL football schools don't need Jumbotrons to entertain the fans ... we do it on the field. Just under eight days until the kickoff of the 2007 Irish campaign for a title (what title that is remains to be seen).

P.P.S. Okay, this is funny. When I ran the spellcheck on my post before shooting it to the internet, it didn't like the word Jumbotron. The suggested substitute: Cambodians ... go figure.

My contribution to the war effort ...

2007-08-23T13:29:00.001-04:00

... Apparently is my blog ... no, seriously. I was teaching the new class of JCCS-1 guys this morning and received comments on my blog! Kind of shocked me, to tell the truth. Let's rewind...

I taught the JCCS-1 students early this morning. The class is normally held at our headquarters, but due to the size of the group, we moved to Al Faw Palace (the Coalition HQ - same place you get your picture in Saadam's throne). It was actually an enjoyable class, the students were eager (they have only been here for a few days, so they still enjoy that unbridled enthusiasm - always easier to teach folks who truly want to learn), and the facilities at the palace make the JCCS-1 classroom look like a trailer ... which it is. I have to admit, teaching in a quiet space with good accoustics and a 60 inch plasma screen display made the day easier.

My class usually runs about 45 minutes (more if they ask a lot of questions), today ran almost an hour. When we finished, we put the students on a break and I went into the hall to chat with some of them. One of the students, an ex-A-6 Intruder BN, callsign: Pearl, walked up to me and asked a few questions about life on Camp Victory. We chatted for a few minutes, and he stopped me saying, "By the way, great blog!" I was shocked that he knew who "The Landlocked Sailor's" secret identity was - he reminded me that my callsign is on the title slide of my class, and asked, "How many dudes named "Grease" are in Iraq?" ... Good point. He went on to say that the class agreed that one of the best sources of information for folks coming over here on IA's are the blogs! I guess I never thought of it that way, I thought of this venture as a way to share some of my life's daily experiences with family and friends back home. Then I thought about how many folks have visited T.L.S. during my time here (approaching 5,000 - many of those are repeat hits, but the sheer number of hits indicates a ton of new guests. Also, in the past few weeks I've fielded several E-mails from soon to be JCCS-1 folks looking for more info about the command - to those out there who are coming in the next few months, send me an E-mail, and I'll try to answer your questions). It felt nice to make the transition from sailor in the states to IA sailor a bit easier for some (in all honesty, it's not just me - we have a bunch of quality blogs by the JCCS-1 crew - The One Wire, Stimp in Iraq, Spook in the Box, and a bunch of others ... and now we have one more as I have linked Pearl's blog (Pearl in the Desert) to the page). As always, thanks for being part of our readership - tough days seem easier when you know you can share your thoughts with others ... even if you never know who those others are!

Well, as is the case with most of my posts, the day doesn't end there. I left work about 3:30 (1530 for you military folks) to run some errands before our big event this afternoon. One of our Marines is an ex-Georgia Bulldog football player who still keeps in touch with the coaches. He asked if we would do a "shout-out" for their upcoming game against Oklahoma State (A shout out is one of those 15-30 second military spots they play on the Jumbotron or on the TV broadcast - basically giving the team support from Iraq). Well our General has a daughter at UGA, so it became a command-wide event (I'm pretty happy about it, seeing as how my sister is a UGA alum and will be at the game to see it). If you go to the game or watch on TV, I'm sitting on the Humvee on the left, just to the left of the large, black pipe that sticks up from the front bumper. The shout-out was fun, but that's not the point of the story ...

As I left my trailer to head back to work for the shout-out, everything seemed normal. This all changed as I drove down the road and realized my power-steering and brakes went from normal to non-existent as I was approaching a corner. Well ... this is new ... hmmmm. For a split second, I considered abandoning the mighty war-humvee in mid-flight, since the corner overlooked a canal. I decided to ride it out (usually the first line of data in a mishap report - Mishap Aviator #1 decided to ride the plane into the mountain rather than ejecting at an earlier time). I was able to muscle the hummer around the corner and allowed it to slow to a more reasonable speed ... thus making steering even more difficult. After a few near disasters, I careened my broken truck back into the IAG parking lot (try taking a turn-circle without brakes or power-steering - all I can say is it's a good thing the roads weren't too crowded), and parked it in the gravel. After we finished the shout-out, I recruited my assistant and our command's resident humvee mechanic to take a look at my sick truck. Apparently, several hoses had torn themselves away from the power-steering pump (spewing fluid EVERYWHERE) and there was something wrong with the brakes ... oh, and the bolt that holds the left-front shock absorber was gone ... not broken, just gone. Our mechanic thought he could resurrect the beast, so we set off for the motor-pool for some parts and fluid. After an hour of work, we hadn't made much progress. Our mechanic filled me with as much fluid as he could and wished me luck in my drive to the motor-pool ... great.

I limped over to the motor-pool, with my assistant in tow, in his humvee. I truly expected to be shot down by the guys there, since this truck isn't theirs, but they suprised me by taking the truck in and performing open-heart surgery on the beast for the better part of 2.5 hours. As always, the contractors over here amaze me - they get a bad rap in the press, but most of them are really here to help. They reattached the hoses and explained to me that, in my model humvee, the power-steering pump also controls whether or not the brakes work (now I'm not a car guy, but that seems like a design flaw - I always thought the brake master cylinder was controlled by vacuum pressure from the motor - but then again, like I said, I'm not a car guy). We actually fixed the power-steering and brakes in about 20 minutes, the shock took the rest of the time. These guys spent basically their entire evening fixing my truck (they even fixed some things I didn't even think of, like the A/C filter - that was a mess).

So once again, I'm in debt to some folks who went out of their way to help a brother in need. They (our humvee mechanic, my assistant, and those great guys at the motor-pool) reminded me why the bad guys hate us: Everyone has a part, and everyone can make a difference. The difference in America is: people get to that decision point in their life, whether or not to help a brother in need, and time and time again, they step up to the plate. There's my lesson for the day: remember ... someday, that guy on the side of the road with the hood up might be you. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Crazy days ...

2007-08-19T13:21:00.000-04:00

My apologies lately for my lack of posts, but I truly have been swamped with work. In addition to my day to day job, I also teach the guys who are coming in theater to replace folks from my group (there are about ten of us who volunteer our time to go back to the headquarters building to give the view from the front). It also helps that I teach the new guys about my soldiers, as my guys are kind of "special." When I say special, I mean that they are not your average Battalion or Brigade. My guys operate in small teams, on their own. Making sure that the new JCCS-1 guys understand this ensures that they will look out for my guys when they need help far from home.

I've been teaching the whole time I've been here, but recently we've changed the way we go about it. This has led to more of my time being required for not just classes, but roundtable events where students can ask questions relating to the jobs they will be doing. Needless to say, I love the chance to pass on what I've learned while over here. Every time I can pass on a mistake I've made in my dealings with the Army means that the next guy doesn't have to fall into the same pit.

I've also been traveling again. I know I said that I thought I was done traveling after I finished my turnover back in April, but certain opportunities have come up lately to get out of Baghdad - if only for a day or so. I know it make folks on the homefront nervous, but sometimes you have to be face to face with a person to get your point across.

Well, excuses aside, I will try to post a bit more often, especially as we get closer to the "report card" that Gen. Petraeus is due to give in the next few weeks. I'm interested to see what he has to say. As I've said before, you folks are not getting the "real story" from the media. The changes I've seen here in the last seven months have been dramatic. I truly think that we're making real progress in the war/peace effort, but I'll wait (just like the rest of us) to see what the view is "from the top."

Before I go, I do want to recognize a couple of special women on the occasion of their birthdays. My Mom's birthday was this past Friday. If there was ever a woman you wanted by you in tough times, she's the one. I could devote a separate blog to the things shes dealt with in her life. Happy Birthday Mom, I hope that I attack adversity in my life with the same class and strength that you've shown all these years.

Second is my wife, Karen. Her birthday was Saturday (makes it pretty easy, if I remember one, I remember them both ... If I forget one however ... Iraq may be a safer place for me than the states). I can't even begin to tell the tales of the strength my wife shows. Let's see, a short list: Dealt with multiple deployments in our nine-plus years of marriage, raised two, then four kids on her own while I was away, single-handedly survived Hurricane Ivan in 2004 while I was deployed, helped me through the death of my father back in March, gave birth to twins while I was here ... the list goes on and on (that doesn't even cover the fact that she puts up with me). I've never had anything but support from her, no matter what the situation. Psychoanalysts will say that men marry women like their mothers and women marry men like their fathers. I don't know if that's completely accurate, but I do know one thing: One of the things I most admire about my mother is her strength. I was lucky enough to find a woman who shares that trait. Although my mom and wife are totally different women in many regards, they do share a strength that is beyond admirable. A person would be lucky to come across one such person in his life ... I have two (actually more, but they didn't have birthdays this week, so they'll have to wait). I love you Karen, thank you for being my "rock," and for being all that you are. It really does make "trip-work" easier. You'll never know how important you are to me.

Okay, enough sappy stuff ... back to the war. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Appreciation ...

2007-08-06T14:36:00.000-04:00

It amazes me how the course of a day can shift from one minute to the next. I woke up in a wonderful mood (and actually stayed in it for most of the day … that’s a refreshing change). One of the things I like to try to do during the day is chat via Instant Message to the family at home. I was in the midst of a wonderful conversation with my wife when my daughter, Megan walked up to Karen and informed her that, “Daddy was saving the world in Iraq.” … Wow ... six year olds sometimes know exactly what needs to be said. Now, you and I both know that I am not “saving the world” in Iraq (If the battle plan relies on me to win the fight single-handedly, you need to look into classes on Farsi). The battle over here is 180,000 strong, brave American (and Coalition) men and women working together, but that doesn’t matter to a six year old. She knows one thing, and one thing only: Daddy’s not home, because he’s needed in the fight in Baghdad. Karen gave me a bit of a hard time for my reaction (rightfully so), but the hero-worship of a six year old girl is enough to make anyone’s spirits soar (The amazing thing is: I was in a pretty good mood to begin with, it’s been a good couple of weeks, and the clock for my homecoming is rapidly winding down!). Needless to say, I left the trailer to head back to work feeling pretty special.

At that point I was pretty sure I had peaked in the day (it was a good peak), and I was ok with that. I was wrong. I drove to the post office to mail a package to Karen for her upcoming 29th birthday (it’s really more than that, but I’m not an idiot). The package system here in Iraq is kind of strange: You have to have all packages searched before you can send them to the states, to make sure you’re not sending contraband (war trophies, illegal goods, etc.). So as I’m standing in the line to get my box searched, I start up a conversation with a Sgt 1st Class in front of me. He immediately noticed my JCCS-1 patch (the command my group of Navy brethren work for) and started asking me about some of my colleagues. He explained that JCCS-1 guys had done some amazing things for his command, and he was glad that we were here to help. Well, this will make almost anyone feel good. It’s nice to be recognized for your work.

It was at this point that I looked up at the sign over the counter … the one that said, “Cash Only.” Ugh, I hadn’t cashed a check in a few weeks and only had a handful of singles on me. I explained to the Sgt that I needed to go and get cash, and that I would have to mail the package later. This is when the day got even more amazing. The Sgt looked at me, reached into his wallet, pulled out a $20 and said, “Sir, you’re a JCCS-1 guy, I know you’re good for it.” Wow (again) … I was truly shocked. I started to refuse, but he wouldn’t have it. He told me to find him at his command and pay him back when I got the chance. I was floored at this. Here’s a man, who doesn’t know me or anything about me, who’s willing to lend me money based on the patch I wear on my sleeve. All I could think is, “We must be doing some great work over here, to elicit this kind of trust among the soldiers.” I took the 20, walked up to the counter and set my package down with a smile on my face. Then I found out I had enough cash on me after all, and returned the 20 to the soldier with a handshake and my sincere thanks. I truly feel like I was honored to be in that place at that time. I’m going to store that one away for one of the days when I’m not feeling like we’re accomplishing anything, and I’m going to remember a Sgt 1st Class who thought that highly of his JCCS-1 brothers. It’s memories like these that I want to take away from this tour. I’m pretty sure I’m going to leave some of the memories behind. Some of them need to stay here, but ones like that need to come home. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

You Get What You Pay For ...

2007-07-27T16:16:00.000-04:00

I apologize for my lack of posting lately, but I’ve been dealing with some technical issues as of late (and I’ve been doing some extra reading – good for my melon). When I arrived back at my trailer after the leave, the first thing I did was to turn on the TV to check up on any news for the previous day that I had been traveling. Much to my chagrin, the cable was out (I think I mentioned that earlier). On top of that, my internet was running quite slow (to slow to post much). Well, I did what anyone would do, I deferred to the “experts” at Magic Island Technologies (my TV and Internet provider).

It took them a few days to get out here (the 24th to be exact), but I returned to my ‘hooch’ one afternoon to find a note on my TV that said, “Your AFN (Armed Forces Network) is now working!” Well this was excellent news, I turned on the TV and found a PERFECT picture! Needless to say I was excited (Notre Dame Football starts in 35 days and I need the TV to be functional). I actually didn’t watch too much TV that night, but did catch an episode of Emeril! the next morning. I left for work with the intention of calling my beloved sister on her birthday, and went about my day.

When I returned that evening, I turned on the TV and … Nothing … just static. Soooo, I had a picture for less than a day. The fact that ALL of the channels were out led me to believe that maybe it was a system-wide outage, so I went back to my book for the night. The next evening I fully expected the system to be back up again. When I arrived at the house … you guessed it … no TV. Oh but wait, now the internet was down too! Joy! So, in my zeal to get one fixed, I lost the other one. I took a deep breath and went back to the book (almost done at this point).

When I came home today, I decided to do some investigating. The internet had come back on it’s own (it has it’s bad days, so this wasn’t a shock), so that problem was fixed. I took a look at the back of my trailer and followed the cable lines to look for a break or cut. The lines aren’t buried or strung, they’re just kind of thrown on the ground between the trailers. On top of that, when a line goes bad, they don’t remove it, they just string a new one and tie them all together with zip ties. After 20 minutes of research, I found about ten lines on my side of the trailers that were ‘dead-ends’ (ones that had been abandoned from previous maintenance). When I came back to the rear of my trailer, I noticed that there were scraps of cable from maintenance lying by the box (hmmmm, a clue). I also noticed a fresh connection lying on the ground. It can’t be that simple … can it? Apparently, my intrepid team of cable maintainers ‘fixed’ the line by adding a new connector, and then just pushed it on the cable box … you know, the type that requires you to SCREW THE CONNECTOR ON! Well, I screwed the connector back on and went inside to find … my perfect picture back.

You would think that’s the end of it … nope. An hour later my neighbor stopped by to ask about the cable. It seems that he too had problems and received a note from the cable guys on the 24th saying it was all better. After he relayed the story to me, we went to the back of his trailer to find … the exact same thing. I will never complain about American repairmen again … unless they REALLY deserve it! Until tomorrow.
-Grease out.

Jet lag, Travel and Babies ...

2007-07-17T16:33:00.000-04:00

We’ll I’m finally over the jet lag from my return trip to Baghdad. It was surprisingly harder this time to overcome than on other trips (I was rarin’ to go after a day when I went home). I found myself falling asleep at 8 PM, waking up at Midnight, and staring at the ceiling until my alarm went off at 6 AM for about 3 days. I finally slept through the night last night … I bet my wife wishes the same about the twins (Yesterday was the two month checkup, complete with immunizations … grumpy babies last night).

The trip home was somewhat surreal. I was in a large group (seemed to be 500+) and we traveled for about 45-50 hours straight to get home. At that point, most people don’t seem to mind (You’re headed home, right?). I found it amusing how excited we were to get to Shannon, Ireland (fuel stop) – they have a duty free store with lots of souvenirs! There isn’t much to shop for in Baghdad, so most folks walked out of Ireland with a few gifts for the loved ones back home. I can’t imagine what those folks thought when they were sitting in a nice quiet air terminal, and 250 folks in uniform “storm the castle.” We received more than a few strange looks. The same was true in Atlanta, I’v never had so many folks come up to me and either thank me for serving or ask me what the war is really like (Hint: Folks, most military personnel are deathly afraid of “speaking on behalf of the Department of Defense” so the answers you get will not be as in depth as you are hoping).

Well, after 45+ hours of travel, I was given a hero’s welcome by one beautiful lady and four awesome kids (to them I’m Superman – especially in the uniform). My vacation was exactly as I planned. For the first five days, I didn’t even leave the neighborhood! The grocery store and pool are in our neighborhood, so I felt no need to venture farther than the road. I spent countless hours remembering what little babies are like. Eventually, Karen told me we had to go out … something about baptizing the twins. I asked if we could just bring the priest to us … she said no. We had a nice private baptism (what we were hoping for), very low-key and informal. All of the other baptisms have been a massive affair, with a large party afterward … on this trip we decided that small was the name of the game.

Other than that, life was pretty boring. I spent time getting to know my kids and wife again (something folks just don’t get – people, especially kids, change when you’re gone for long periods of time). My wife is easy, I’ve seen what changes in her while I’m gone – she is usually a gentle soul, this changes when I’m gone – she becomes a hardened Navy wife (Big Hint: When you return after months of being away, don’t try to undo her changes – it will end poorly for you). The kids grew, as kids grow, and became more a part of the conversation. When I say that, I mean that they participate more in the life of the family, instead of the other way around. My daughter is crazy about the babies, and is quite the helper (she has the patience to get a baby to sleep in a bouncer unlike anyone I’ve ever met). My son is beginning to deal with the fact that he’s not the “baby” anymore. I’m not sure he likes it too much, but he does like that he gets to do more of the “grown-up stuff” as a 4 ½ year old.

I guess the only real “event” of the trip home was our yearly trip to Busch Gardens. Last year only Megan and I could ride anything (Brendan was too small for most things and Karen was trying to get pregnant). Brendan rode his first roller-coaster (The Big Bad Wolf) and liked it – to a point. He liked it, but didn’t want to ride again right away (much like his sister was at her age). Megan reveled in the excitement of “big people rides,” and the twins were given their first test on how they handle a day at the park. Much like our other kids, they passed with flying colors. Karen and I have always had the mindset that, while babies do change your life, they can’t END your life. As long as you plan for the unexpected, they handle days like that VERY well (lots of sleeping). Both our older kids were at Disney before they were one, and hopefully, the twins will be too!

As slowly as the first week of leave went, the second went just as fast. You start to look at your watch about halfway through, and begin to dread the return trip. Well, tears were shed, hugs were given, and here I am. I’ll fill you in on some of the particulars of some amusement of the trip later, but this should be good enough for now. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out

Back in the USSR ...

2007-07-14T15:01:00.000-04:00

Oh wait, wrong era ... should say back in Baghdad! Sorry about the absence, folks, but I've just completed possibly the most wonderful two weeks ever! As my time here crept over the halfway point, I departed for home for two weeks of well deserved R & R. I can honestly say that I didn't think about this place once in an eighteen day period (well ... maybe once, but that's another story for another day). I was able to make a formal introduction to the two most beautiful babies in the world (and spend some time with their older siblings - pretty special kids in their own right). Lastly, I was able to lift some of the burden off of a lady who has done so much in the last few months ... years ... almost decade. With that said, I'm still so jetlagged I can't see straight ... I do promise to pass on some wonderful stories from the adventure that was my leave ... just, not tonight. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out

Paging Mr. Murphy ...

2007-06-19T16:12:00.000-04:00

Those of you who know me know that I believe in a higher power (call it what you like, my glass house is far too fragile to be making judgments on what name you have for it), and yesterday I believe my higher power was sitting in Heaven having quite the laugh at my expense (Hey, God has to have fun too!). I believe in free-will (we are placed here kind of like wind-up toys – once God releases us, it’s up to us where we go, whether we choose right or wrong, etc), so I don’t think God had any malicious part in the day’s events, but I’m sure he was watching and chuckling.

Let me set the scene: It had been a better than average day, the temperature was hovering around 115, but hadn’t gone up too much in a while. Work was pretty good, I was able to get a bunch accomplished in a short time, so I felt OK about taking off about 4:30 to go for a run (Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are running days for me – the goal is 4 miles in 30 minutes by the time I’m done here – I’m up to a little over 3 in 30 min (3.2 to be exact)). I stopped by my trusty trailer to change quickly and head to the gym. Before I left, I took a quick look at the news on AOL, and saw an article on a new way of breaking into homes that leaves no trace of a picked lock (insert foreboding music here). The article seemed interesting and I made a mental note to read the whole thing when I was sitting in the trailer later.

On to the run! When I run, I work up a sweat … a BIG sweat. I’m talking soaked shirt, shorts and socks kind of sweat (the fact that it’s usually 90+ in the gym doesn’t help). I clocked about 4 miles total (with the first 3.2 in the 30 minute window), so I felt good about myself. Despite being soaked, there’s a great endorphin rush after a run like that – you feel pretty good for about an hour or more. I left the gym to run some errands on the way back to the trailer.

I had to go to the dining hall first before the laundry (you can’t carry bags into the dining facilities, so I have to plan the order of my trips). The nice thing about being covered in sweat in the dining hall is that folks tend to give you a wide berth (There are literally TONS of folks who do the gym to DFAC trip, so I’m not alone). I grabbed a sandwich to go from the sandwich bar (like Subway for free) and stopped off to grab my laundry (we have facilities that clean and fold our stuff for us – nice) on the way home.

So here I am, soaked from head to toe in sweat, carrying a bag of laundry, a carry out sandwich, an apple and a couple of skim milks. I slowly make my way to my door and insert the key (after carefully putting all that junk down). I give the key a turn and it turns a bit more freely than usual … hmmm, there’s no resistance at all … and no sound of the lock opening. Well … this is mildly upsetting. I pull the key out and the whole lock mechanism comes with it (except for the part that sheared off in the door). I give the knob a try and, of course, it’s still locked (Ha, you folks thought someone broke in didn’t you? It’s OK, you can admit it). Well, now I’m faced with a dilemma, I’m hungry, but I’m sweaty … which problem do we fix first?

I decide the lock is the most important thing in my life right now, so I grab all of my junk and head over to my trusty Humvee for the trip to the KBR office (they know me well there after the never ending water heater issues). The lady at KBR makes this one an emergency call, since I’m locked out, and she tells me to go wait by the trailer. So there I am, 30 minutes later, having eaten my sandwich on my front step, read the paper, and sweat some more (it’s still 115 out), when the KBR men come to my rescue. Their solution to the problem is to PRY THE DOOR OPEN WITH A SCREWDRIVER! I sat there thinking it was like watching professional golf – when you see Tiger Woods duff a shot into a sand trap, you say to yourself, “Hell, I could’ve done THAT!” You expect a bit more from these guys, but the obvious answer (while not the right one by any means) is usually the easiest one. It’s nice to know our doors are so secure (That’s why they put the little steel plate on the door – to prevent others from repeating this). So, I have a new lock, and an appreciation for eating in the great outdoors. Until tomorrow.
-Grease out.

How to kill a Saturday ...

2007-06-17T13:36:00.000-04:00

This is a 42 inch LCD TV. See how pretty it is.

This is a crack team of experts (the girl is in charge - she's the only one who seems to know what she's doing) who are going to mount this TV on the wall in our mini-JOC (Joint Operations Center). The photos are taken from my desk, so I'm right on the outskirts of the JOC.

This is our team of experts mounting the bracket for the TV ... upside down.

This is an upside down bracket (I'll give you a hint, the wood part is supposed to go over the top of the cubicle wall, so when you look at the bracket, the big part of the keyhole should be next to the wood - just like a picture).

This is the team mounting the TV to the false wall. Notice the team leader isn't in the frame - she left the room so she would have 'plausible deniability' when the TV hit the floor.

This is the finished product, done just in time for the weekly video tele-conference (We made sure the General didn't sit too close to the TV, lest it fall off the wall onto him). As of today, the TV is still firmly attached to the wall ... we'll see how the week goes.

And that's how you kill time on a lazy Saturday. Just think, we can all get jobs at Circuit City when we're done. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Where do we get such men ...

2007-06-10T14:21:00.001-04:00

We had yet another Hail and Farewell today. With the temporary nature of these assignments, we rotate a bunch of folks through each month. Today was kind of special, though. We were saying goodbye to our PSD. The PSD is a Personal Security Detachment. They’re the guys who’s job it is to protect our Commanding General and Sergeant Major (the Army holds the senior enlisted man in the command almost equal to the Commanding Officer, kind of like a co-Executive Officer – the Navy does this as well with the Command Master Chief, but no where near the level that the Army does). The PSD also protects any of the command staff personnel who ride with the General (that basically means all of us on the Command Staff – on any given day, any of us might be riding with the CG (Commanding General). These kids in the PSD are all volunteers hand-picked from a large pool of applicants, needless to say, these kids are the cream of the crop from 1st Infantry Division (the Big Red One).

The CG made a point today of giving the history of each of the members of the PSD. To a man, they had all had multiple tours in Iraq and most had recently returned from a tour in Iraq when they volunteered for this assignment. Some may say they did it to work for the CG (He is a pretty amazing man, and a heck of a leader), but I’d like to think these kids did it for another reason – a sense of duty. Who in his right mind would volunteer for a deployment where you know that you will be traveling on convoy in the worst parts of Iraq on a daily basis, and that your job is not to kill the enemy, but to protect the members of the convoy. These men traveled outside the wires over 200 times in their tour in the PSD, logging over 8,000 miles of travel through Iraq (most of that was in Baghdad). Our CG and Sgt. Major’s job required them to travel to the teams around the country daily (the difficulty of this command is that the headquarters is here in Camp Victory, but the teams are spread all over the landscape), if a commander never visits his troops, he will never know what he can do to aid them in their efforts. So, when he goes, these kids take him there. They load up in the Humvees and trek out over the countryside, knowing that a casualty to their protectee would be used by the enemy as propaganda.

The title of this post was, “Where do we get such men.” This is originally from a poem about Naval Aviators who fly onboard ships, but I think it may be more applicable to kids like this. They could be home, enjoying their down-time after an arduous combat deployment, but they’re not – they’re here, doing the job, every day. Remember this as you read the headlines about young people like Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohan and wonder if there is hope for the generation of young people we have today. There is hope, they’re right here, on the job, and they have been every day for the last year. God speed, PSD, you have left an impression that will be hard to match (at least until the next group of brave young Americans walk through the door next week to assume the watch). Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Unintended Consequences ...

2007-06-09T16:10:00.000-04:00

Okay, time to stop the bleeding. Ever since the last two posts, I've been fielding E-mails from family and friends concerned about my 'state of mind.' Let me put this to rest - what I said yesterday is accurate, a lot of what folks feel over here can be described as 'self-pity' - the whole 'woe is me' attitude. I'm not saying that folks don't have real feelings of loss or depression, not at all, I'm just saying some of what you see is self-inflicted. That was my whole point behind creating the blog, it's my avenue to vent some of what I see and feel over here. Don't get worried when I sound a bit down in my posts, be worried when I stop posting alltogether. Trust me, I'm in a pretty good place (mentally, not physically - physically I'm still here in Iraq). The blog is serving it's purpose well, it gives me the outlet to let out some of the bizarre stuff we are exposed to (I've seen folks who walk around with it bottled up, and it's not a good thing). So I'll go back to venting the silliness and sadness I see. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out

Uncomfortable Conversations ...

2007-06-08T14:45:00.000-04:00

My posts as of late have taken on a different tone. Obviously, there has been a lull with the birth of the twins, but that’s not all. Some of the topics haven’t been the exciting, amusing sort like in the first few months. A good friend of mine contacted me today and asked if I was feeling alright. I explained to her that this is the normal development of a deployment. The first third flies by as you are in a strange place doing amazing things. The last third flies by as you plan for your return home. The source of the excitement in these two phases is different, but the feeling as much the same. The middle third, however, is a strange slow time where the job has become somewhat routine and the prospects of a return home seem so far away. This often leads to mild self-induced depression, self-pity and often sickness brought on by the stress of the separation (ask anyone who has been on a Navy deployment – you tend to see many folks come down with what appears to be just a bad cold near the halfway point – it spreads like wildfire throughout the ship.) The sickness itself shouldn’t be enough to knock grown men in good shape down, but combine it with the malaise of the middle of a deployment and it can be a nightmare. The morale folks will try to come up with events to keep your mind off the time, but the ‘fun in the sun’ on the flight deck often reminds you of the fun you’re missing back home. I am smack dab in the middle of the middle of the deployment. The Army has done one thing right in their approach to deployments – the mid-tour leave program. If you are here longer than nine months you can take two weeks off at a point you choose near the middle. This helps to break you out of the mid-deployment doldrums. My break is just under two weeks away, and I am truly looking forward to it (as is my oldest daughter, Daddy coming home means she gets to go to Busch Gardens, Williamsburg – she is quite the roller-coaster buff).

As I said before, I’m in the part of the deployment where your job becomes routine. Its days like today where you realize that nothing over here is ever routine. I have to start this with some background information. We lost a guy a couple of days ago. One of our teams was hit, several guys were injured and one was killed. Today, I wound up face to face with one of the guys who was injured. Normally, I have no problems talking to … just about anyone. However, I felt extremely uncomfortable in this situation. This guy had a mix of feelings, he felt extreme loss over his teammate, but he also felt unbelievably lucky that he walked away with minor injuries. He came over to my desk to ask the difficult question … did he screw up? He was the truck commander, the man in charge, and one of his guys was killed. I can’t even imagine what was going through his mind. I could tell that part of him was blaming himself for his teammate, and he was looking to me to tell him that everything was alright, and that he did all he could to prevent this. This is where I became uncomfortable … do you tell him that all is right with the world just to make him sleep at night, or do you dig into the data and be brutally honest with him about the entire incident. The thing that got me the most was their ability to separate themselves from an event that was barely a couple days old. I’ve mentioned before that the Army has a different view on ‘acceptable losses’ than the Navy or Air Force. In the Navy, we would be back flying shortly after an incident that costs a life (you have to, if you shut down, you’ll never get back up there), but it does stay with you for a time. It usually lasts for a few weeks until we can truly go blow off steam in a non-flying related activity (this often involves a wake at a bar in a foreign port). The Army does not have time for this, they need to be ready to get back out there within minutes of a casualty. These guys before me had already been through all phases of grief and were looking for answers, all except the Truck Commander who needed to know whether he could have prevented it. In the end, training took over and I dug into the data (I had been doing this since the incident happened anyway), and I let him know (much to my relief) that he had done all that he could as a TC to prevent this. It really wasn’t a difficult decision, but the topic of the loss of his teammate hit kind of close to home for me for some reason (I’m sure a head-shrinker would say it has something to do with the loss of my father, and they’d probably be right). When all is said and done, I truly believe we are doing the right thing as a nation being over here, but the losses can be horrific.

Like I said, the middle phase of deployment is often associated with self-pity. Do me a favor and say a prayer for the kid we lost (and for all the other ones). Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Groundhog Day ...

2007-06-07T14:55:00.000-04:00

I feel bad that my post have been few and far between as of late, but there really hasn’t been that much to post about. The days tend to run into each other when you do essentially the same thing seven days a week. Most of my weeks revolve around somewhat mundane management jobs that fall under me. This involves tons of E-mails back and forth every day (exciting, huh?) We spend a good deal of our time attached at the hip to our computers (I have three on my desk) waiting for answers to previous E-mails. It becomes a vicious cycle after a while.

Today, however, was a bit different. The power grid in Baghdad is weak compared to a U.S. city, and with the heat rising (and the air conditioners running 24/7) we are prone to blackouts. If I worked in almost any other building on Camp Victory, this would be no big deal (most of the buildings have backup generators, and continue the day’s work with or without city power). Our building grinds to a halt when the power goes away, which leads to ACTUAL CONVERSATIONS amongst my co-workers. We sat around for the better part of an hour today explaining to the new folks that power losses are a fact of life here, and telling ‘sea stories.’ I find it amazing that the Army and the Air Force, for the most part, do not get to ‘see the world’ during their time in uniform. They work at their home base and, when they deploy, they head to another base in some remote part of the world and stay there until it’s time to come home. They truly miss out on some of the gems that the Middle East has to offer. Some of the areas in this part of the world are truly breathtaking and provide Sailors with ‘life experiences’ that the U.S. just can’t offer. Until you’ve strolled the gold markets in Dubai and Bahrain or checked out the nightlife in Singapore, you just haven’t lived. I think that’s why I’ve stayed in so long, every time I leave home is a combination of feelings. On one side, I miss my family terribly and miss the events of life at home. One the other side, I know I’m going to see things that will amaze me for the next six months. The guy I replaced (some of you may remember Kenny) and I used to talk about the ‘Sailors love for the sea.’ Kenny is a true Sailor, brought up through the enlisted ranks, but I think the excitement of traveling the oceans can be shared by both officer and enlisted alike. It’s days like today, I’m happy I chose the Navy (sitting in a sandpit in 117 degree temperatures will make any man long for the sea … or anything else for that matter). The Navy guys know that we are just visitors here, our real place is on a ship (or sitting around the pool at the Jumeriah Beach Le Meridien in Dubai … both are pretty cool)

I talked before about the changes that occur when you’ve been here for a while. Some folks say we get ‘jaded’ once you’ve spent time here, and they’re probably right. Three days ago, I was running on the treadmill in the afternoon. Our gyms are pretty good by desert standards and we have approximately 25 cardio machines in one room with the weights in another. As I was running, I heard a loud boom nearby. This is not too uncommon, so I kept running (I was having a good run). Shortly thereafter, a bunch more booms came, all of them close enough to rattle the mirrors on the wall in front of me. There was a strange reaction in the crowded cardio room. Approximately half of the folks in there ran outside with VERY scared looks on their faces and crowded into the nearest bomb shelter, but half of us kept running. Experience had told us that booms of that nature, that close together were not incoming rounds … they were outgoing. If we get that many rounds coming at us, sirens would be going off, helicopters would be flying over to attack our attackers and the buildings would shake a WHOLE LOT MORE. I’m sure the folks who came back in after the barrage of outgoing ended thought we were either very jaded or very stupid (probably a combination). I honestly didn’t know at the time what the booms were at the time, but they didn’t seem too threatening. If you can hear it, it didn’t hit you.

Well, I’ll go back to surfing the internet, counting the days until my mid-tour leave (our countdown is under 15 days). I can’t wait to get home and see the wife and kids. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Morale Suppression Police ...

2007-06-02T17:23:00.000-04:00

As I sit here on this late Saturday night, I feel compelled to write to my good readers of a grave injustice (I also feel compelled to write because the cable is out in my trailer, so there’s nothing to watch). Apparently, the Navy has sent over several Morale Suppression Teams to Baghdad (sailors should feel at home). These are small, elite teams whose sole purpose is to take a crew’s spirits and flush them right down the toilet. These are the men who coined the phrase, “The beatings will continue until morale improves.” I agree, it makes no sense to have these folks in theatre, but they are here and hard at work. The MST’s have become smart in our age of net-centric warfare, they do most of they’re work in almost complete secrecy. I, however, have discovered one of their nefarious plots to keep us behaving like sheep.

It all started when I looked on the website several days ago to check the weather forecast for Baghdad. I know my site has a weather gadget, but it doesn’t always work in the military domain (remember, the man trying to keep me down, etc. – that is an example of OVERT MST actions). I glanced at the weather and saw that the 30th of May was going to be back in the mid-90’s again. I felt my heart leap as we have not had a sub-100 day in some time, the break would be welcomed. My excitement continued throughout the day and into the next. I glanced at the five-day forecast the next day and was shocked to find that the 30th had gone from a high of 95 degrees to a high of 106 degrees. The 31st, however was now listed as a high of 97. As I continued watching the forecast over the next week (it was a slow week), I realized that the fifth day of every forecast was always lower than it should be, just to get our hopes up for a day. On top of that, the forecast was accurately displayed until approximately 10 AM, then it was changed to add this sick joke to our lives. Do the MST’s have so little to do here (morale is pretty low in the desert anyway) that they resort to teasing us with promises of good weather? Or is it some young soldier who thinks the whole thing is funny … okay it’s some young soldier who thinks it’s funny – we found it quite amusing as well. So never fear Baghdad residents, good weather is only five days away.

-Grease out.

Whatever will we do? ...

2007-05-29T16:29:00.001-04:00

Now that self-proclaimed "attention whore" Cindy Sheehan has given up her quest to badmouth America, it's government and it's troops. Between her departure and Rosie O'Donnell's spiral into oblivion, I just don't know where America will go to get left-wing freakshow drivel. Oh well, we've always got CNN.

-Grease out.

Back to business ...

2007-05-27T14:27:00.000-04:00

Okay, the baby pics are posted, the family is all at home and doing well … let’s get back to the lunacy that is … Baghdad. The picture below was taken at Blackhawk, a kind of supermarket for bootleg videos and software. These guys are so good that, if a movie comes out on a Friday, Blackhawk will have it on DVD Monday. Granted, the movie is filmed with a webcam in a theatre, but it’s better than nothing when you don’t have a theatre. Obviously, this merchant skimped when it came to hiring a translator.

My anti-media rant for the day. Many of you have seen stories lately about the Mine Resistant Ambush Protected Vehicle (MRAP). If you went by the mainstream media’s slant on this: The Hummer is worthless, MRAP’s are the savior of the world and the Army and Marine Corps (particularly the Corps) have withheld the MRAP from the troops because they have a monetary interest in the Humvee.

Here’s the truth folks: The Up-Armored Hummer is a VERY capable vehicle. The MRAP is a good next generation choice to EVENTUALLY replace the Hummer. The Army and the Marines HAVE purchased a large number of MRAPs (You can’t walk down a street here without seeing several MRAPs). The biggest deal is: American General motors has the capability to produce more Humvees faster than the MRAP folks do right now. If it’s a choice between having the best possible armored vehicle but not having enough for the effort, or having a darn good armored vehicle in large numbers until the MRAPs can be purchased in large numbers – I’m taking the Hummer. In reality, we have a lot of both! The MRAPs have gone to units who have a larger chance of encountering IED’s. Not everyone is going to get them; in the beginning, you give them to the units with the greatest need. Also, NO vehicle is completely protected against an IED. If the bomb is big enough, it will win. I just hate the so called ‘military experts’ on CNN telling us that the military is holding back on the vehicle that will be the solution to all of our problems. The MRAP is NOT the savior of the forces. Is it better … probably. Is it perfect … no.

Now if you want to see a ‘perfect armored vehicle,’ here it is: This truck was in our parking lot yesterday. The Iraqi Army has taken an Isuzu pickup/flatbed delivery truck and turned it into a redneck’s dream. How’d you like to drive this baby through an American town and watch the stares as you pass. Not only do you have protection in the back for your troops to lay waste to the local populous, you have up-armored the tires as well. Way to go boys – the U.S. spends $25 Billion dollars on up-armored trucks, you guys find some junk on the side of the road and weld it to the truck. The fact that your truck is in my parking lot tells me that it works (or you’re really lucky) – who’s the fool here?

I can’t go any farther today without recognizing the efforts of my sister this past week. She, despite being a lifelong Georgia fan (and alum, soon to be double alum), recognizes my passion for my Fighting Irish. This has led to quite a few heated debates amongst her and I (At one point there was a GREAT defensive lineman who was playing for my old high school whose college choices were: UGA or ND. I’m pretty sure Lisa and I didn’t speak for a while after that one – unfortunately, Travis Stroud went to Georgia and did well there). Well, my beloved sister is a county administrator in a major school system in Georgia. She’s also a HUGE football fan. As she was walking the halls in one of the schools in the county, she bumped into the Notre Dame head coach, Charlie Weis. Apparently, Coach Weis was in town to look at a recruit for the Irish. Lisa, knowing what it would mean to me, walked up to Coach Weis and asked him to sign an autograph for a fellow Domer who is serving in Iraq (that would be me). This is what I received in the mail the day my twins were born:

Above: Lisa and Coach Weis

Right: A note from a friend.

Lisa, as always, you are the coolest. I do wonder how you keep bumping into all of these famous folks (last year her Christmas card was a candid photo with Bono of U2 – she randomly ‘bumped into him’ in Miami). I think she might be paparazzi … she does like cameras … she has been known to drive a bit insane … If she shows up with a photo of Lindsey Lohan, we have problems. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

And the counter rolls ...

2007-05-27T14:25:00.000-04:00

One Thousand. In Naval Aviation, 1,000 traps is one of the most sought after goals of carrier aviation. Thanks to all of you out there who got me to that point in the blog world.

-Grease out

More baby pics ...

2007-05-21T15:05:00.000-04:00

After much prodding, Karen has sent more pics for me to post (I told her that her vacation was over and that she needed to get back to work … four days in the hospital, where I come from that’s called LAZY … You notice how bold I am when I’m 6,000 miles away from home, If I was home she’d be pummeling me with a baby toy right about now). Karen made it home with Patrick and Bridget in tow on Saturday. Megan and Brendan seemed to like having the babies around, and LOVE having Mom back home – even if she is laid up for a while. Brendan seems most excited that Mom is trapped upstairs in her room (Karen’s Mom runs a tight ship) because that way Grandpa can still spoil him without her interference. Megan has taken to the role of big sister with her usual aplomb. She is already critiquing the clothing choices for the twins and has her own ideas about what activities they should participate in (they are more in the observer mode vice participant at this point, give them a few months though and Meg will have them playing goalie in the backyard soccer matches). I think all involved are taking a well deserved week of low-key activities, after the madness of last week. I’ll post more pics as my wife sends them, and will return to the usual business of blogging random thoughts in a little while. Until tomorrow.
-Grease out.

P.S. The woman in the picture is Karen's doctor (and another Notre Dame alum!)

Baby Photos ...

2007-05-16T16:00:00.000-04:00

Not much in the way of commentary here, just thought some of you might like to see some photos of the twins (and their WONDERFUL Mom). Enjoy!

-Grease out.

Clockwise from top left:

Mommy on the big day ... with the BIG tummy

Patrick (L) & Bridget (R) in their prime time debut

Three TIRED campers after a long day

Patrick on the scale

Twins update # 3 ...

2007-05-15T19:03:00.000-04:00

After several hours of trying it the old-fashioned way, the doctor's decided to perform a C-section on Karen after all. I was able to get through to the Operating Room on speaker phone just before the surgeon started to cut and ... at 6:41 PM (EDT) Patrick Andrew entered the world and his sister Bridget Grace joined him two minutes later. Both babies are doing great and mom is still finishing the C-section as I type (they kicked me out of the room after the babies were born). I'll get a chance to call her in about one hour where I can get some 'official' times, weights and measures. Thanks again for all your prayers. More to come.

-Grease out.

Twins update # 2 ...

2007-05-15T13:25:00.000-04:00

Karen is much happier since she recieved her epidural just over an hour ago (noon her time). I am sitting patiently at my desk waiting for further word. The good news is: We found that you can call DSN direct to her room at Naval Medical Center Portsmouth. More to come!

-Grease out.

Twins update # 1 ...

2007-05-15T11:25:00.000-04:00

As of 6:30 this morning (EST), both babies have changed their minds and pointed head down. Karen is trying for a traditional delivery via induction. More to follow.

-Grease out.

Becoming one of the 'Old Guys' ...

2007-05-14T16:09:00.000-04:00

I have spent a great deal of the last few days ferrying people around who are either coming to Iraq or leaving for home. The guys leaving for home just want to get the heck out of here and there’s not much story there. The interesting part was the guys coming INTO Iraq. My command picked up six new Navy personnel on Saturday. Two of these guys work in my shop. Before I picked them up, I thought to myself, this is most likely their first time in Iraq. With that in mind, I wondered what it they were thinking. I remember when I first arrived, being overwhelmed at most of the sights, but we showed up in the dark. These two would get the full experience of Baghdad in the daytime. As I drove them back to our office, I could almost feel the tension in the car. The questions were the same ones we asked three months ago: “How often do you get mortared / rocketed?” Why do the roads stink so badly?” “Why does Iraq smell like a toilet?” “Can we stop and eat?” I tried my best to give them some insight into life here in Baghdad, as I am now one of the guys who has been here a while (It doesn’t seem like three months since I first arrived). While we were standing around in the office, a loud ‘boom’ was heard from outside. Those two were the only ones who reacted at all (that’s kind of sad, but true). When they asked if that was a mortar, I replied, “Nope, that was the waste truck backing into something in the parking lot, the bombs are louder.” As with everyone over here, they too will soon be desensitized to the sound of incoming / outgoing fire(If you hear it blow up, you didn’t get hit, so why stress about it). You only notice the ones that make the walls shake or the lights flicker. I guess it’s like what the war movies call the ‘thousand yard stare.’

Well, enough of that. Tomorrow morning Karen goes in for the last step in this eternal pregnancy. She has her C-section scheduled for the early morning. The babies are big and breech (sideways) so the docs decided the C-section was the way to go. Karen is nervous (justifiably), but she is the strongest woman I know. That being said, the next time I blog, I should have two new children and will announce their names in a live press conference on ESPN (just kidding, I’ll post them here). Prayers and happy wishes are appreciated.

-Grease out

Ohm's Law and other annoying science stuff ...

2007-05-11T15:56:00.000-04:00

The power went out today in the trailer. That’s not a huge surprise, the power goes out all the time, but this one got me thinking (nothing good can come from that). When I’m at home, the occasional power outage can be a real pain. My first job, when the power comes back, is to go around the house and reset all the clocks. Even with all the advances in technology, I still wind up resetting clocks. All these clocks that have this ‘auto set’ function have a small disclaimer that says, “Does not work in Florida or Virginia.” I’m kidding of course, but it seems that way. Now if the power stays off for a long time, then it can be kind of fun. Karen and I have spent many a night playing Rummy-Q by candle and flashlight. You’re almost sad when the power comes back, then you remember the dollars invested in the frozen food that is rapidly decaying and you don’t feel as sad anymore.

When the power goes out here, it’s a different story. I thought about it today and realized – I have NO CLOCKS TO RESET! When the power goes out in my ‘hooch, my biggest concern is the fact that the A/C has turned off, but I can live with that (at least for a while). When I’m at work, a power loss is like a bit of a snow day. With no computers or phones to keep us busy, we mostly just sit around and enjoy each others company. However, when the power stays off, it becomes a huge hassle. We do have a lot of work to do, and without computers or phones, we can’t get ANYTHING done. It’s a strange reversal of feelings about a random power loss. Like I said, it’s not always easy to come up with topics, but this one kind of fell in my lap this afternoon … literally. Moms enjoy your weekend, you deserve it. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out

Time for some follow-up ...

2007-05-09T14:05:00.000-04:00

After I posted last night, I stepped back for a second to review. Reading it again made me even more worked-up. I took some time out to look at some of today’s news, looking for some examples of the greed and dishonesty in Congress right now.

First was the news today about the additional 35,000 troops to be sent later this year. General Petraeus has made it very clear that the ‘surge’ would need time before you can see concrete effects. This should seem like common sense to most of you, change doesn’t take place overnight. The Democrats, on the other hand have proposed a slightly different way to run a war:

Under the proposal, Bush would have to update Congress by July 13 on whether the Iraqi government was meeting certain political and security reforms. Congress would decide 10 days later whether to end the war and bring troops home or provide funding through September.

Wow … a whole two months … why didn’t we think of things like this in 1942, we could have been out of that war by early ’43! But wait, there’s more! Sen. Olympia Snowe (see, I have problems with some of the Republicans as well – bowing to polls is no way to run a war) shows in her own way that the politicians have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what is going on over here:

Sen. Olympia Snowe (news, bio, voting record), R-Maine, introduced legislation Tuesday that would require the Iraqi government to meet certain benchmarks within four months. If Baghdad fails, military commanders would begin planning to bring some troops home and refocusing remaining forces on noncombat missions, such as training the Iraqi security forces. Snowe's bill, co-sponsored by Sen. Evan Bayh (news, bio, voting record), D-Ind., sets a nonbinding goal of ending combat six months later.

Amazing … that’s brilliant, lets focus on the “non-combat” missions, like training the Iraqi Security Forces. Let me clue you in on a little something, the guys who are working with the Iraqi Security Forces are involved in combat more (on average) that any other forces in theatre. These are the guys on the front lines teaching the Iraqis how to do it themselves. You don’t do that in a classroom, you do it on the street – where the action is. If these people would spend less time making sound-bites and more time doing actual research, they might actually be useful.

But, sound-bites make for good politics – even if they aren’t true. Presidential hopeful, Barack Obama, got a bit too big for his britches in a speech yesterday when discussing the tornadoes in Kansas. Apparently, devastation from tornadoes is now caused by the Bush Administration, and the War in Iraq. Sen. Obama was heard to say:

"In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died — an entire town destroyed," the Democratic presidential candidate said in a speech to 500 people packed into a sweltering Richmond art studio for a fundraiser.

Hmmmm, … 10,000 you say … last I checked it was 12. Not to take away from the tragic loss of those in Kansas, but we all know 10,000 sounds much better than 12. Makes for a better sound-bite, charges up the crowd, brainwashes them just a little bit more with dreams of one world, living together, everyone sharing their goods, free-love and all sorts of other things the rest of the world has proven end in total collapse of a government (heck, even the French figured it out and elected a conservative this week). Why, do you ask, did the honorable Senator bring up the tragedy in Kansas … to blame it on the President and the war effort, of course:

Obama mentioned the disaster in Greensburg, Kan., in saying he had been told by the office of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius that the state's National Guard had been depleted by its commitment to the Iraq War.

"Turns out that the National Guard in Kansas only had 40 percent of its equipment and they are having to slow down the recovery process in Kansas," Obama said, his shirt sleeves rolled up and his head glistening with sweat.

The good news is: It’s not just the Congress involved in this hatchet-job, the Governor of Kansas had some words as well that she planned to talk to the President about when he arrived today:

"I don't think there is any question if you are missing trucks, Humvees and helicopters that the response is going to be slower," she said Monday. "The real victims here will be the residents of Greensburg, because the recovery will be at a slower pace."

Sebelius said that with other states facing similar limitations, "stuff that we would have borrowed is gone."

Holy cow, whatever did she need? The state must have requested all sorts of assistance and received none for her to turn a tragedy into a blame-game with the White House. What did she ask for?

Snow said no one had asked for heavy equipment. "As far as we know, the only thing the governor has requested are FM radios," the spokesman said.

Radios … damn wish we’d known about that, we have TONS over here. Oh wait, she got them? And a mobile command center, a SAR team and some Blackhawk helicopters. They must be good then, but why all the drama … it worked for Katrina right? All I know is: when Hurricane Ivan was bearing down on my house, I was underway off the coast of San Diego. My wife actually listened to the advice of the government (as did most of the rest of Pensacola) and LEFT. She didn’t wait for the government to swoop in and rescue her from the storm – she left. Sometimes we have to do things for ourselves folks, like those great folks in Kansas are right now. Despite their governor’s dire statements, they are taking care of each other and picking up the pieces. Maybe if the governor spent more time helping them and less talking to the camera, she’d realize that when bad things happen, the only thing you can do is pick yourself up, pick your fellow man up and start over. Standing around and waiting for the government to jump to your rescue like some sort of institutionalized welfare program doesn’t work. The Republic only works when the people are willing to ‘cowboy up’ and do the lion’s share of the work themselves. Help from the government is a great thing, but it should be a surprise, not an expectation. As an aside: the people from FEMA have been under fire for several years due to the media convincing the country that FEMA should do all the work for you. Let me give you the ground-zero truth: The people from FEMA and the Army Corps of Engineers are some of the FINEST people I have ever had the pleasure of seeing in action. They were there for the citizens of Pensacola and Lower Alabama from day one. Their help was invaluable in a rough time. It worked because the folks on the Gulf Coast came home, started to pick up and didn’t look for any handouts.

That’s just my two cents, take it or leave it. We are being snowballed by the media and our representatives in Congress. They tell us what they want us to hear, not the whole story.

-Grease out.

P.S. I did find one other story out there today totally unrelated to this topic. I can’t tell if this guy is the luckiest guy on the planet, or the unluckiest. You decide

The Evolution of Modern Warfare ...

2007-05-08T15:49:00.000-04:00

Walking around the VBC (Victory Base Complex) is like walking into a giant room full of James Bond’s toys (you know, the scene in every Bond where ‘Q’ shows up to give James a pen that has a rocket launcher imbedded in the tip). What’s even more bizarre here is, you can see the evolution of a fighting vehicle by sitting on a street corner. My Humvee is called an M-998, some of the follow on ones are called M-1114’s and M-1151’s. You can see the similarities between the basic chassis of the vehicles, but the exterior is a completely different story. Each of the models is born out of soldiers modifying their vehicles to defeat a threat on their terms. Mostly this has to do with armor. My Hummer has basic armor on the doors, but would never survive a trip outside the wires. An 1151 has armor all over the place, specifically designed to protect the crew from insurgent bombs. The difference is astounding, but it all comes down to soldiers with ideas

The next vehicles you see are the ones that have come after the Humvee’s. Strykers, and all sorts of other vehicles that look like they come from a sci-fi movie. When you watch them drive by, you can’t help but be amazed at the time and effort involved with building these things. Then reality sets in and you realize that one insurgent with a simple explosive, used properly, can destroy these monsters of the road. There are some days when I don’t know if we’re going to win over here. It’s not that we don’t have the tools and talent (we’re loaded with that), it’s that we have a government (specifically a Congress) that believes quitting is the right approach. The lack of respect for history astounds me. We have proven, throughout history that the right approach isn’t always the easy one, and that quitting just makes the conflict worse for later generations. I keep looking at our representatives in Congress and waiting for them to show the courage that has made this country great, but all I see is greed and dishonesty. Greed to keep their jobs, and dishonesty with the American people. I truly believe that the only ones who get it are the President and his inner circle. It does give me hope that, unlike the last administration, he realizes that you cannot govern by polls. You have to do what is right, no matter what the media says, no matter what the polls say: right is right. The amazing thing is how short sighted these people (our Congressmen and the media – the left) are: they were the ones who continued the fight for equal rights when it was not popular. It was only by their courage and persistence that we all won there. I say this to you to remind you that you are in this war too. If the naysayer’s get their way, we’ll be fighting this conflict on our doorsteps in the near future. I’m sorry for the soapbox, but we pay close attention to what’s going on in the states, and it frightens us. Know that we’ll be out here doing the job, as long as they let us – it’s up to you good people to ensure that it happens. We have been the silent majority for too long, it’s time to speak. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Happy Birthday Megan ...

2007-05-04T15:42:00.000-04:00

Today is one of those tough days. My daughter turned six today at 4:39 AM EDT (1:39 AM on the west coast, where she was born). As many times as it happens, missing special occasions never gets easier. In 12 years of service I’ve missed quite a few birthdays and almost all of my anniversaries. My family understands, they’re always supportive, but that doesn’t make it an easier day.

Megan was born May 4th, 2001 at Naval Hospital, Oak Harbor. Her WONDERFUL mother labored for 22 hours and pushed for three before giving birth to this 9 lb. 12 oz. wonder (If you’ve ever met my wife, you’d realize that the fact that she could contain a child that size is nothing short of amazing). The labor had been so long and intense, that the doctor had assumed that Megan was going to need some quick help when she was finally delivered. The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit folks had been called in from their homes and were standing by waiting to help this child. When Megan was finally delivered (with a resounding ‘pop’ I might add), the doctor said what everyone in the room (except Karen) was thinking … “Oh, so that’s why it took so long.” So we woke up an entire team of highly trained professionals to come look at a perfectly healthy baby … I didn’t care. They handed Megan to Karen, and it was quite possibly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. That lasted for about 15 seconds, before Karen announced to the room that someone needed to take the baby, as she was so exhausted she could not guarantee her grip on this ten pound Goliath.

After we rescued Megan from almost certain peril, the head nurse handed her to me and asked if I wanted to walk her down to the nursery. Now I’ve always been a confident guy, truly believing that I CAN do anything (an mindset shared by many a naval flyer – it’s kind of an invincibility complex that fades with time and experience), but I was truly terrified of the 40 foot walk to the nursery. You hold in your hands such a perfect being, untarnished by the imperfect world we live in, and you don’t want to screw up. It has never taken me longer to walk forty feet in my entire life, and I don’t think it ever will again. My daughter was perfect, and she had the same snow-white hair that she maintains to this day. As a parent, you love all your children unconditionally, but the first one seems extra-special. I just couldn’t believe that an imperfect being, such as me, could help create something so grand. Megan was then, is now and will always be my angel.

Happy Birthday Megan, I love you a ton and miss you so much it hurts. Be good to your Mom and help her out when the twins arrive.

-Grease out

The man is trying to keep us down ...

2007-05-03T15:10:00.000-04:00

Some of you may have read the news article on the new Army regulations regarding blogs and wondered, “Is this the end of The Landlocked Sailor?” Well I’m here to tell you that I will continue on my quest to bring you random oddities of life in Iraq. Nothing they can do can prevent the voice of the people in their quest for … hold on, I have to answer the door … as I was saying, this will be the last edition of The Landlocked Sailor, I don’t want to go to jail in Kansas.

Just kidding. So long as I’m posting random goofiness about my time in Iraq, the man has no problems with it. Now if I start posting the secret launch codes, we have issues (especially because I don’t have any secret launch codes or any real desire to post them if I did). There are kids out there, however, who don’t know what is ok to post and what isn’t. Hopefully, the article will scare them enough to get someone in their chain-of-command to ‘vet’ their blogs and give them some tips.

I’m going to cut it short today, as tomorrows blog will probably be extensive – in honor of a certain little girl’s sixth birthday (she reads the blog, too). A taste: Six years ago today, at this very moment, I was sitting in a delivery room at Naval Hospital, Oak Harbor wondering if my wife would EVER pickle this child. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

What is it with Chuck Norris? ...

2007-05-02T15:22:00.000-04:00

I try my hardest to make each post an original work (I know the Shakespeare thing again), so I never intended to do the Chuck post. I looked on all the other sandbox sailor blogs out there, and realized that almost all of them have dedicated a day to Mr. Norris … well, I couldn’t let you miss out on one of our most treasured pastimes, so here we go.

Some of you may have noticed the addition of the Chuck Norris Random Fact Generator to the side of the page. I feel I must explain the genesis of Chuck. I don’t know why, but soldiers in this part of the world have this strange affinity with the Chuck Norris Facts. When our group first arrived in Kuwait, one of the guys came back from the port-o-potty and told us that the inside of it was covered with ‘Chuck Norris Facts.’ For those of you who don’t know, there are several websites out there dedicated to all things Chuck (Warning: The generator on the page and the websites cross over in to the ‘R’ rated category, so no small people on the Chuck pages please … that means you Liz and MK … no looking at Chuck or Chuck will find you). People have this strange fascination with making outrageous statements about the Walker: Texas Ranger star. Things like: Chuck Norris invented water, Chuck doesn’t sleep, he waits and so on. I found the jokes in the port-o-potty amusing, but wondered why they were there. As we continued our journey into Iraq, we found that quite a few of the portable toilets were covered inside with Chuck Facts, including the one at the JCCS-1 command building. When I stopped by the command yesterday to teach the new class, I was shocked to see that the KBR folks had taken it upon themselves to CLEAN the inside of the port-o-john. This saddened me greatly, as I looked forward to my visits back to JCCS-1 HQ to see what new Chuck-isms were placed on the wall by the new class. Hopefully they will begin redecorating the walls soon, but until then I have the Chuck Norris Random Fact Generator on the page (We live in a bizarre world over here). I often wonder what he would think about it if he came over on an USO tour. Here is a country full of soldiers and sailors who scribble Chuck Facts on the walls of their toilets. I don’t know if he’d be honored, or really, really scared (Chuck doesn’t get scared … it must be the former). Either way, some days we have WAY too much time on our hands. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

P.S. If you’re trying to show the blog to someone in a PG status and you get an R Chuck quote, just refresh the page – you’ll get a new quote that should be more suitable.

The benefits of self-publishing ...

2007-05-01T15:11:00.000-04:00

When I started the blog, I thought it would be a fun way to pass time and to share some of the experiences of being over here with the folks I know back home. It has turned into so much more than that! It’s actually a joy to go out and look at my everyday life, searching for things to pass on to my fanbase (hi Mom!). There is a side benefit of being your own editor and publisher … you can write whatever you want!

In today’s edition, I’m going to send out a word of thanks, in the most public venue available to me. I told you some time ago about my wife’s cousin … let’s call her Helen … cause, that’s her name. Helen is a research chemist for Chattem, Inc. Most of you have probably never heard of Chattem (I hadn’t), but you know their products – BullFrog, IcyHot, Selsun Blue, Gold Bond and others. Well, Helen’s care package arrived the other day. I was the envy of the office. People could not believe that someone who I’ve only met once before would take the time to accumulate all of these items from her lab/office and send them thousands of miles to a guy in Iraq. The kicker was, all of the items show that she really thought about what we’re going through out here and they all make sense (although, Helen must think I have some severe foot problems, because she sent a TON of the Gold Bond stuff … the foot stuff, not the other one). Then I shocked them all by saying that Helen did not send this care package for me, she sent it for us. Needless to say, Chattem’s customer base grew by a couple dozen today. One thing about military folk, we tend to reward those who take care of us. In this case, the best reward we can give is our loyalty to a company whose people obviously care about more than the bottom line. (by the way, you HAVE to try the BullFrog Mosquito Coast – It’s a SPF 30 sunscreen with DEET-free bug repellent built in – now that’s a cool idea, especially in a country where your biggest non-kinetic threat is sunburn, bugs and dehydration – I don’t think it’ll help with the dehydration thing, but give them a few years)(By the way, non-kinetic means anything other than high-speed chunks of assorted metal – bullets, mortars, bombs, etc.). So Helen, we salute you (and your company). Thanks for remembering us over here, it means the world.

-Grease out.

P.S. I know I went overboard today with the Google Gadget additions to the page, but they’re so darn cool

Home Improvement ...

2007-04-29T15:23:00.000-04:00

I’ve written before about how much I enjoy the process of making a house (my trailer-half in this case) a ‘home,’ so to speak. Its one of the many gifts my father gave me in his lifetime. Projects around the house are rarely a chore, especially when it involves me creating something from scratch. Shortly after I was married, my wife decided she wanted shelves in the closet of the home-office in our condo on Whidbey Island. I remember her measuring the opening and planning to go out and buy some pre-fab shelves from Target or Fred Meyer. I looked at her and said, “Don’t bother, I’ll make some.” This statement was greeted with a look of worry (and some disbelief). You have to understand, we had been married for all of four months, and she’d never seen my creative side around the house. She watched me intently as I took my own measurements, drew out a plan (another gift from my Dad, he was an amateur draftsman as a young man, and believed in making somewhat precise drawings of the projects we did together), and installed the shelves. Needless to say, she was impressed. This led to quite a few projects for me over the years, some more complicated than others; but each with its own identity. She knows that at the outset of a project, she’s going to lose me in the garage for the duration (she also loses her parking spot, as the garage is my workspace).

This leads to today. Earlier this month, I sent home a request for some supplies not available here, specifically wood-grain contact paper. My mother bought and sent the contact paper (not before wondering what in the heck I was going to do with it) along with some cool Notre Dame stuff to brighten up the room (that's from my sister - and yes, I do hit the sign on the way out the door every day). I received it in my birthday package earlier this week.

I had been bothered for some time by my bed and makeshift coffee table. My bed had a wood support in the middle that looked out of place. When I removed it to see if it was needed, I found out why it was there. Apparently, my bed has ZERO support in the middle, and would leave me sleeping on the floor at some sort of weird angle. My immediate idea was to cover the support with the wood paper (to make it look like it belonged there). After realizing how easy that job would be, I looked at the table. A few weeks ago, my wife’s cousin gave me a bit of a hard time about the flowers on the table. I tried to explain to her that supplies were limited, and that this was a bed sheet that was in the room when I arrived. The more I thought about it, the more I realized she was probably right – it was a bit effeminate to have the flowery sheet on my table. Well, I have contact paper … why can’t I give that thing a manly touch? (after all this talk about decorating, it’s the ONLY manly touch this post has) So I spent this evening making my table more acceptable for a guy’s room. It still has the flowers, but not as bad as before. That and the TV is showing NASCAR right now … that’s manly right? What the heck, I’ll resign myself to be a desert-decorator, and be proud of my ‘chick’ side. Don’t worry Karen, the table is staying behind when I come home … I’m not as dumb as that.

Before I check out for tonight, I wanted to direct you to a post on one of my friend’s blogs. Many of you have asked throughout the years, “What would make a guy get so excited about going to sea for months at a time?” Well, my pal Barbie (the F/A-18 pilot) expressed the thoughts of many a sailor quite eloquently in his post. Its not the ports, or the ship, or the people … it’s all of that and a lot more. I personally find his thoughts on the mornings to be right on the mark:

The most peaceful times were before flight ops began daily. With the midmorning sun hitting your face and the smell of sea spray...it was almost therapeutic after the previous night's landing that scared you so bad...your legs shook for an hour after the fact. Looking over the deck's edge at the rush of blue ocean passing brought many a Sailor serenity from the realization that he was miles away from a family that he missed and loved.

Well, there’s no sea spray here (and most of the smells come from the porto-potties), but that doesn’t keep me from loving my family. You just find other things to put you in that frame of mind where you’re at peace with your world … maybe that’s why I continue ‘projects for Karen’ even though she is thousands of miles away … it reminds me of why I’m here and why I can’t wait to get home. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Fun on a Saturday ...

2007-04-28T09:21:00.000-04:00

Saturdays around here can be hit or miss. Almost everyone works seven days a week, but there are those who take the weekend off (I'm not that lucky). That leaves me here, on a Saturday afternoon, waiting for the sky to fall. There's really very little going on, but that can all change at any minute.

That being said, I've spent a good bit of this Saturday playing with the layout of the blog, and trying to make it more user-friendly. Apparently, I had it set up where only registered Google Mail users could leave comments - that's been fixed. I also added one of my favorite pictures of me shooting a baby Hornet off of the USS Carl Vinson back in March of 2005 (how I wish I was back doing that job again). I also added a homemade news feed at the bottom of the page. If you're not a fan of the Irish, Red Wings, Tigers, Braves or Bulldogs, you probably won't like it. If that's the case ... start your own blog, this one's mine. I'm trying to add the Fox News RSS feed to the page (and maybe ESPN), but I'm still trying to work out the technical details on that one. Hopefully, you'll find the site more useful, and if not ... refer to my comment above.

-Grease out

Showing my age ...

2007-04-26T17:03:00.000-04:00

An odd thing happened today on the way to lunch. As we walked in, we noticed that they had a small band playing (about a seven-piece horn section, and not much else). They broke into a new tune as we entered, and I immediately recognized it (but I couldn’t believe that they were actually playing it - I had to walk over and look at the music to confirm). It was the theme song to the cartoon ‘Star Blazers.’ Now for those of you who aren’t familiar (I’m guessing almost all of you), Star Blazers was Japanese Anime’ that came to America before any of us knew anything about anime’. It was a story about a group of folks who had to travel through space to save the earth, and they did it in a WWII battleship that they converted into a spacecraft (I see some of you DO remember it). When I was eight, it was the coolest thing on TV. I raced home from school, and would watch it with my grandmother. I’ve often thought of buying it on DVD, but I don’t know if it would be the same (maybe I’ll see if the Haji shop has a bootleg).

I think the thing I found most bizarre about this scene (other than the fact I remembered a cartoon from my youth based on two bars of music) was the fact that NO ONE in this room had any idea what it was that they were playing. I realized that the kids in the dining facility weren’t even born when I was watching this show. I wondered who made the choice of songs … and why? For a second, I WAS the oldest guy in the room. There really aren’t any words to describe how odd the entire experience was. I did walk away with a good feeling, like I was the only one to get the joke. Not bad for a Thursday. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out

Bill Gates is the devil ...

2007-04-26T16:50:00.000-04:00

Well, not really, but I’m sure he knows him. After I finished posting to you good people last night, the mighty laptop decided to develop a case of amnesia. First it forgot how a Windows XP desktop should look (it reverted to the OLD windows), then it forgot how to make sounds (decided that I had no audio card installed). It became painfully obvious that the trusty laptop was rapidly spiraling into oblivion. This concerned me … greatly. After several hours of frustration (ask my wife how much I like computer problems), I discovered that the folks at Microsoft did this to me. During one of their never-ending updates (that go on whenever you’re online), the update was interrupted (most likely due to the fact that my internet connection speed is slightly above ‘snail’). Somehow, this damaged some Windows files, and it was only going to get worse. It was a bad night.

Thankfully, every time Microsoft comes up with a way to screw the consumer, our friends at the computer companies come up with a fix. I have been an HP guy for a bunch of years now, and they have a service called System Recovery. Microsoft has a service called System Restore. Microsoft’s system is supposed to allow you to revert back to a previous time in your computer’s life when all was right with the world (Imagine those few seconds after you put your foot in your mouth … gone). It’s a great idea, but I’ve never seen it actually work. Apparently, the first files to be corrupted on any computer are the System Restore files. I tried about ten restores, to no avail, and switched over to the recovery mode. Since Microsoft doesn’t give you the Windows disc anymore (anti-piracy Nazi’s), you don’t have that nice feature called “repair a broken installation.” HP’s answer to this was to put all of your necessary files in a hidden part of your hard drive (it costs you about 10 GB worth of space, but it’s well worth it). After spending several hours backing my data up to my external hard drive (Karen, it paid for itself today), I tried out the recovery. When you open this thing, it has two options: first, in giant bold letters it says, ‘DESTRUCTIVE RECOVERY’ - in other words, this thing is going to rip through your computer like a Roman legion - kind of scary when you think about it. Below that, in tiny letters, it says, “repair and replace” - the old Windows repair utility. Needless to say, I chose option two (hoping to save some data), and I’m back online. The first thing I did was to change the Windows Update option to ‘ask before loading.’ It’s been a long day.

-Grease out.

White noise ...

2007-04-25T14:08:00.000-04:00

It’s amazing how attached we get to the white noise in our lives. I used to explain to my wife that, while onboard ship, the only time you would get nervous was when it got quiet. There was so much background noise, that silence was a signal of something wrong (usually nothing, but there were times when the silence meant there was a real problem onboard). This could be compared to a parent’s ‘sixth sense’ about their kids. When the children are quiet, they’re usually up to no good.

Well, I’ve lived in a house devoid of white noise for quite some time now, but that all changed this evening. My haji friends finally got it right … sort of. My routine has been to come home, turn on the TV, run the auto-program, shake my head in disgust and turn it off. Well, tonight I actually heard English voices come out of my TV. I have been graced with six whole channels of AFN (Armed Forces Network) goodness. They don’t come in clear yet, but it’s a start. It definitely completes the room. Now I have a reason to sit in the family room area. I was just able to enjoy the Simpsons for the first time in months. It’s amazing what small things will do to brighten your mood (not that it wasn’t pretty bright as it is – it’s been a good day).

I heard a great comment today, “Constant change creates the illusion of progress". I feel that way sometimes here. We are constantly changing how we do things here, and I wonder what effect it’s having on the local populous. Recently, you all heard in the paper about the brouhaha regarding the wall being constructed to separate the Shiite and Sunni neighborhoods in southern Baghdad. The comments we heard from the Prime Minister included, “The U.S. did this without consulting us” and “This wall must come down.” That’s funny, I seem to remember the wall being the PRIME MINISTER’S IDEA. It’s odd what politicians need to do to remain popular with the people (something tells me the PM needs to be doing a bit more … maybe spending more time working on the situation in Iraq, and less time entertaining Middle Eastern leaders in Egypt). I found Gen. Odierno's comments on the matter interesting:

It is only when different groups are convinced that their legitimate objectives can be achieved through a political process that violence in this country will substantially abate.

Essentially, if we can get them to stop killing each other (and us) for just a second, maybe they’ll realize that they can accomplish more through dialogue than through I.E.D.’s, suicide vests and car bombs. It’s a grand plan (we hear ‘Fahrd al-Qanoon’ on a daily basis working around the headquarters), but all grand plans require one tiny little part … the people have to believe in the plan, or you’re just spinning your wheels. The soldiers, sailors and airmen on the ground believe in the plan, it’s the other guys I’m worried about. Well, I’m going to explore my six channels. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Confessions ...

2007-04-25T13:44:00.000-04:00

I can’t hold it any longer, I must confess, after being confronted with the evidence by my sister-in-law … I am a …plagiarist. Yes that’s right, the last blog came directly from the Shakespeare Country historic site. My attempt to honor the Bard (who happens to share a birthday with yours truly) has ended in disaster (Gimme a break, it’s tough coming up with new stuff every day. I don’t know how these guys who do it full time pull it off … I guess it has to be a combination of extreme boredom and loads of free time … I have some of the former, not much of the latter). I will now (as is the trend in Hollywood these days) enter a rehab program designed for those who take the word of others and use it for personal profit … what, you mean I’m not getting paid for this? I’ll be back ……… ok, my stint in plagiarist’s rehab is complete. I will never plagiarize again ... tomorrow I will be presently my newest post, entitled 'The Sun Also Rises' ... it's a scorcher! (Seriously kids, don't plagiarize - my sister-in-law (the teacher) and my sister (the teacher turned county administrator) will find out and will blame me - holidays are tough enough without giving them free ammo)

-Grease out.

Happy Birthday, William Shakespeare!

2007-04-23T03:14:00.000-04:00

William Shakespeare was born on 23 April 1564 in Stratford-upon-Avon. He was the third child and eldest son of John and Mary Shakespeare. His father was a glove maker and tanner and an important figure in the town.Shakespeare attended King Edward VI School, Stratford-upon-Avon. The classical writers he studied in the classroom had a big influence on his plays and poetry.At the age of 18 in November 1582 he married Anne Hathaway, the daughter of a local landowner. Her family home, now known as Anne Hathaway's Cottage, still stands in the village of Shottery, a mile from Stratford. Together they had 3 children, Susanna, Hamnet and Judith. William’s family lived at his father’s house in Henley Street, now known as Shakespeare's Birthplace. Shakespeare’s son, Hamnet died aged 11 in 1596. In 1607 Shakespeare’s daughter Susanna married John Hall a successful doctor, and lived together in Hall's Croft. His younger daughter, Judith, married Thomas Quiney in 1616.Little is known about his early married life but when he moved to London in 1592 he began to make his name. Shakespeare spent 25 years of his 52 years living and working as a dramatist and actor in London, whilst maintaining his home and family in Stratford. His early career in London coincided with the outbreak of the plague, which killed thousands of people and closed all the theatres in order to stop the disease spreading. During this time Shakespeare wrote some of his most popular poems, including his 154 sonnets.In 1611 Shakespeare returned to Stratford to live with his family at New Place, said at the time to be the second finest house in Stratford.He died on his birthday, 23 April 1616, aged 52. He is buried at Holy Trinity Church in Stratford-upon-Avon. His widow Anne died in 1623 and was buried beside him. Shakespeare’s family line came to an end with the death of his grand-daughter Elizabeth in 1670.

And we are all better off for having known him.

-Grease out.

Joseph Heller ...

2007-04-19T14:50:00.000-04:00

Do you ever get the feeling that fate is having some fun with you? Let’s recap: I should have been in a room with a roommate and no bathroom. By sheer luck of the draw in who I met along the way, I was blessed with a single-man wet room. This of course comes with no hot water, thus defeating the purpose of having the bathroom in the first place. I’ll move on to yesterday: Kenny finally approaches me and says, “Hey, lets go get my stuff so you can have it for your room.” The most important item I purchased from a rapidly departing Kenny was a TV. The rest of the items are nice, but I can live without them. I place this beautiful Haji TV in my now well furnished room only to discover: There’s no TV signal, thus defeating the purpose of having a TV. Apparently, the perfect signal we received from on top of … get this … Signal Hill, wasn’t perfect enough for the viewing audience. This resulted in the powers-that-be deciding to move the satellite dish several miles south to … you guessed it … Signal Hill (We know them as Signal Hill on Liberty and Signal Hill on Slayer). Unfortunately, these powers-that-be are better at making random decisions than actually performing the tasks. Apparently, there have been some unexpected delays in moving the dish … like no one had actually planned the move, and they were leaving it up to Haji maintenance to accomplish this task. The next kicker is: all of the dishes around Victory/Liberty/BIAP/Slayer/ Striker/Brooklyn were pointed towards Signal Hill to get the TV feed. Well, all of the dishes are now pointed at the wrong Signal Hill, and the process for moving them is like a scene out of the Beverly Hillbillies. Just today, I saw a man standing on top of a T-wall (big cement wall) turning a dish and yelling in Arabic to a man in a trailer watching a TV. Now, I don’t speak Arabic, but I think the conversation went something like this: “Can you see anything?” “Nope” “Damn” ~tweak, tweak~ “How about now?” “Nope” “Damn” and so on. At this rate, I’ll get a signal sometime as I’m packing up to re-deploy to the states. I know it seems trivial, but the ability to turn on the news, or a hockey game, or anything other than static, is one of those things that keeps us a bit closer to home. Most of the troops over here do not have regular access to the internet, so the little TV they watch is their only taste of home … that and cookies. The Armed Forces Network does an excellent job of broadcasting reruns of most of the shows that caused the WB to go out of business. That and they show obscure sporting events paired up with movies that should have gone direct to VHS (Notice I’m not saying DVD … most of them we pre-DVD era movies).

Oh well, I am very happy to have all of Kenny’s stuff. I now have wall to wall carpet (It’s really like some sort of strange macabre of color – a patchwork of sorts). It’s not perfect, but it keeps the dust down and my feet don’t get dirty on the way to the bathroom. I also have a small dorm-room fridge that is stocked with stolen Diet-Coke and water (I miss the old days when fridges of this size were used for beer). I have a shelving unit that is on it’s last legs. And finally, I have a large leather chair that used to belong to a General (Every so often over here, they make units (such as mine) move – It’s easier to buy new stuff than to move the old, so … let the thievery begin). My room looks like some sort of college dorm nightmare, but it’s mine and I have the necessary amenities to keep me sane for a few months (that is, if they get the TV fixed).
With no televised entertainment, I’ve taken to reading books over here (perish the thought). Folks around the states are nice enough to send us old paperbacks that they were going to throw away. Sometimes we get some strange stuff in the boxes, though. Looking through a box of books while at FOB Warhorse, I came across a manual for a GE Toaster Oven. I was pretty bored at the time, so I gave it a look. I might still have it if any of you need a good read.

I’ve also spent a bunch of time figuring out how to communicate with home more effectively. When I say that, I’m not talking psycho-analyst mumbo-jumbo. I just mean that getting a quality signal home can be tough at times … and expensive. I think, however, I’ve found the answer. I’ve been an AOL user for years and love the ‘intranet’ that AOL offers, but their video-chat leaves something to be desired. After talking with some of the folks here, I found that the wave of the future is Skype (www.skype.com). It’s one of those services that allow you to use your computer like a phone (VOIP) or use their video-chat feature. The best part is – it’s free! The download is about 20 MB (Which meant Karen did it at home in under a minute … mine took all night), and if both parties are Skype users, the calls are free (from computer to computer). Apparently, they have a lot of other options that allow you to call from your phone to regular phones, but that’s where the cost comes in. So, loyal readers (mom), if you want to video chat with the author, get a webcam and get Skype. Thus ends the paid commercial message. I’m going to try to call (Skype) the wife now, so I have to be going. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Addendum ...

2007-04-16T12:56:00.000-04:00

Normally one post a day is all I’m good for, but I had to update my loyal readers (hi Mom) on my never-ending struggle with my water-heater. The day before I left on the last leg of the grand journey, I received a phonecall on my cellphone (actually Tim received it on his cellphone, because I wrote the wrong number down on the trouble call sheet – thankfully, I was standing next to Tim at the time). I had been by KBR earlier in the day to lodge yet another complaint about the lack of consistent hot water. I talked to a NEW KBR lady (she might have been here for years, but this is the first time I’ve seen here, so she’s new, OK?) and explained my dilemma. She was shocked that the problem hadn’t been fixed, and promised to call the plumbing supervisor right away. This leads to the phone call. The plumbing sup told me he had personally looked at my heater and couldn’t figure out what was wrong. He did, however, offer a solution – he told me that he had just received a shipment of BRAND NEW 80 gallon water heaters (mine was a 40 gallon – should have been more than enough for one person), and that he would have one installed while I was gone. At this I was ecstatic, I would have so much hot water, I could put a hot tub in the rec-room (kidding). I left on my trip and forgot about the issue until I arrived home last night. I could tell by the dirt on my freshly mopped floor that the workers had done their magic. There in my hooch, was a beautiful large new water heater. I turned on the shower for a minute and, much to my amazement, hot water. I quickly turned it off as it was bedtime, and turned on the faucet to wash my face … hmmm, that’s funny … no water. I chock this one up to the, ”you can’t win ‘em all” school of thought (or perhaps it’s the, “you can’t win at all”). I decided to deal with it in the morning. When I awoke, I jumped in my shower for some hot refreshment … hmmm, that’s funny, it’s not staying hot – just like the old one. When I explained to the KBR folks that I had traded a 40 gallon non-working water heater for an 80 gallon non-working water heater AND no water in the faucet, they found it quite amusing. To their credit, two gentlemen just left my hooch after fixing the faucet, and one of them thinks he knows what the water problem is (he said something about a faulty check valve outside the trailer). As I said in the beginning, “Que, sera, sera.” By the time they get this fixed, it’ll be so hot here that hot water won’t be the problem. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out

Turnover ... complete

2007-04-16T12:54:00.000-04:00

Well, that’s it folks, my turnover with Kenny is finally complete. It got to the point near the end where I didn’t know which FOB I was on, or where I had recently come from. The travel arrangements became pretty painful near the end, so Kenny and I decided to Space-A most of the final legs (this is where you go to the terminal and hope that there’s an empty seat on a flight where you need to go). It worked out pretty well, but it led to some confusion by the folks we were going to meet. When you say you’ll be there on Sunday, and you show up on Friday, it usually means you will be scrambling for a ride or a place to sleep. It didn’t help that one of the flights dropped us off in the wrong spot (right FOB, wrong side of the airfield), we eventually made our way to the other side. This was mostly due to pure dumb luck (a guy who works with us who weren’t going to meet bumped into us and gave us a ride in his spiffy Humvee ambulance). We made it home at 11 PM last night and were surprised that there wasn’t a welcoming party to greet us (I’m kidding, they didn’t expect us home for two more days). We tried to call the guy who had my truck, but his phone didn’t work, so we jumped on the KBR bus back to the office. The bus stopped at the exchange, and the driver notified us that he wouldn’t be departing until midnight for the next run (it was 11:15). When we finally did arrive at the office (after just over an hour on the bus) we discovered that the guy with the truck, had left it for us at the helicopter terminal … where we were an hour ago. Needless to say, the trip ended on a painful note. Between that, and all the E-mail I had to catch up on all morning, I don’t think I’ll be traveling anywhere soon (our travel coordinator informed me that my license to travel has been revoked for an indefinite period – we owe her a great deal of thanks, she got us to almost ten different FOBs in just over a weeks time). With that I’ll sign off with some pictures from my travels. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out

Where'd you get that suit? London ... Hong Kong ...Noooo, you got it from a Conex box at Warhorse!

Endless terminal waiting.

Finally a day helo ride.

I'm not the only one stuck here.

Greetings from scenic Kirkuk!

Even on the nicest day, there's always a reminder.

All the comforts of home ... compete with sandbags!

Fair winds and following seas, Kenny ...

Your time here is complete, we have the watch.

P.S. I received my first non-solicited care package today. Was it from my wife and kids ... nope. Family ... nope. It was from Tom and Becky, and the cookies are delicious. Thanks guys.

Catfish Air ...

2007-04-11T14:12:00.000-04:00

Well, I’ve finally returned home after another round of flights around Iraq. Only one more round to go, and then the turnover with Kenny will be complete. I have to ask one question before I start today: Why is it that civilian folks in a war zone turn into morons as soon as they get off the plane. I’m not saying they all do, a lot of the ex-military folks still have a clue. I was lucky enough to get on an Embassy flight yesterday to Mosul (Northern Iraq). The reason we like the Embassy flights is: they tend not to get cancelled. Most flights are hit or miss until you are actually in the air (and even then there’s no guarantee that you will get to your destination – sometimes other missions take priority). The Embassy flights have a few lucky soldiers and some Iraqi Army guys being moved around the country; but mostly, they have civilian types: State department workers, contractors, and all those touchy feely types (Save the whales, Save Iraq, Save Darfur, other random socialist organizations, etc.). These flights are still run by the Air Force, so there’s some sense of military bearing.

Now my question to you is: when you know your flight is about to board (they tell you over and over when it’s coming up), do you: a) Make a quick head call (restroom break), b) Organize your things, c) Take one last smoke break (for you smokers out there), or d) none of the above? Apparently, if you are a civilian (such as the ones listed above) you choose d) every day and twice on Sunday. We board the plane and, within five minutes, half of the civilians have asked to get off and go to the bathroom, six have left to smoke and three haven’t made it yet because they are still trying to get their enormous amounts of crap together to load on the plane. I had my toes stepped on by four people getting off after we were seated and buckled in (If you’ve ever flown in a C-130 you’ll know that foot room is not a dealer supplied option). Needless to say, we spent an extra 15-20 minutes on the ground waiting for these fools to do what all of the military folks did during the hours we had before we boarded (Embassy flights require you to show up three hours early). Then, to top it off, when we arrive in Mosul, the civilians decide that the landing rollout is a good time to get up and gather their things. When the Air Force aircrew guy yelled at them to sit down until he told them to get up, they looked at him like he was speaking in a dead language (that’s not a good metaphor – these folks are the only ones still alive who get degrees in dead languages – they’d understand him – let’s just say they looked at him like he had three heads). I swear this Airman was about two seconds away from ‘capping’ one of these morons with his 9mm.

When you disembark (get off) these planes, you walk in a straight line off of the flight line to someone who checks you in – if you’re military. If you’re a civilian, you rush to the front of the line like a herd of buffalo, because your time and mission are more important than anyone elses. One of the KBR guys who was leading the line ‘accidentally’ tripped the State department weenie, as he was rushing to get to the terminal first. This elicited some well needed laughter from those of us trapped with these idiots.

Well, we toured around Mosul with our contact up there. It’s a strange place. The FOB has this country town feel to it. There are awnings on all the shops to give them that General Store look, and they actually have hills and grass (the smell of fresh cut grass was a pleasant surprise). You can still tell you’re in the land of not quite right, though. Pop’s and Omar’s general store just didn’t have the right ring to it, nor did Elvis’ house of leather. The 7/11 signs going up took me as a bit of a shock – seeing as how 7/11 doesn’t exist in Iraq (we’re pretty sure they got some old signs from a junkyard). Anyway, the time spent in Mosul was productive. We jumped on another flight late that night to get to Camp Speicher. We rode on a CH-47 helicopter, which is like a C-130 when it comes to the seats (sling seats with a bar in the middle of your butt). As is always the case for me, I got the ‘half seat’ where one section of seats end. No bar in my butt, but no way to stay on the seat either. They fly with the back door open for the gunner, so I was able to witness a really cool thunderstorm (It’s rained for the last two days – mud, mud, mud). When we arrived, our contact met us and dropped us off at our room. Search as we may, there was no bathroom to be found. Needless to say, Speicher is not on my list of vacation spots (I still need a shower).

Now, on to the best part of the trip – Catfish Air. We were scheduled to leave Speicher this morning at around 9 AM. Weather delayed that until about noon, but it was worth the wait. Catfish Air is the name of a group of Army helicopters who do nothing but ferry passengers around the country. These guys define the word ‘cowboy.’ They fly day or night, and they seem to have a blast doing it. Our crew chief carries a Shrek doll with him on every flight. He also carries little baggies full of candy to throw out to kids as we pass them by. Now, you might be saying, ‘How can he tell that they’re kids he’s throwing the bags of candy to?’ He can because; we’re flying at 100-200 feet off the ground. This ride made me think back to EA-6B low-level days in Western Washington. We’re zipping over the countryside, and you can see the faces of the folks you’re flying over. They also don’t have any windows in the helicopter, so that just adds to the thrill. If you haven’t guessed, I’m starting to get over my fear of helicopters. If I can see out the front, it’s actually not too bad. Only two more days until I depart on my final leg of this turnover-a-rama. One more Embassy Flight, and hopefully some more Catfish Air, and I’ll be done. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Oh the places you'll go

2007-04-09T14:14:00.000-04:00

I always appreciated that poem (given to so many people on the occasion of a graduation from High School, College, etc.), but I never thought it would involve me going to Taji, Iraq. Once again, Kenny and I had another bright and early morning (1:00 AM this time) to catch a helicopter to Taji. The flight only lasts a few minutes, but it’s amazing the transformation along the way. Baghdad is a large metropolitan city, that shines kind of like a beacon in the desert (even though power is spotty at best, there’s usually a ton of ambient light). Taji on the other hand, not so much. When you leave Baghdad, you pass into an area devoid of any light (or life as far as I could tell). Taji is a city, just nowhere as large and well lit as Baghdad. The base we use was previously a Republican Guard secret base (the only people who thought it was a secret was the Republican guard – people around the world just don’t seem to understand that we have these things called satellites, and they see everything). The Iraqi army uses part of the base, and the rest is used by the Coalition forces. Brandon (the guy who works for me in Taji), picked us up in an up-armored Humvee (the doors on these things literally weigh 500lbs.), and drove us to the Iraqi side, where he works. As has become the ritual, Kenny and I laid down for a quick three hour nap before breakfast, and got to work. Brandon works at a type of school that’s training the guys who work as advisors to the Iraqi army. It was a bit disconcerting to be away from the friendly confines of a U.S. secured base. I couldn’t tell if these Iraqi soldiers wanted us there, or if they were just looking at us as invaders who needed to go. I don’t envy Brandon’s job, it’s a bit closer to the ‘front’ than I would care to live. He’s an interesting character, his job in the real world is that of a English professor at the U.S. Naval Academy. That being said, his blog has more of a literary flavor to it than mine. He did introduce me to quite the amazing mouse. Apparently, they have a terrarium where they kept several live scorpions they found in the desert. They placed the mouse in the terrarium (I’m guessing as a food source for the scorpions) and observed that, after several days of looking scared of the scorpions, the mouse actually killed and ate one … then another … then another. The mouse gets my vote for tough guy of the week. The mouse is supposed to lose, but animals do amazing things when cornered. I guess the same could be said about humans placed in high stress situations … some cave, some overcome. Let’s hope I’m the latter and not the former. I’m on the road again tomorrow for heaven knows where (someday this turnover will end … I hope) Until tomorrow (or later depending on my trip).

-Grease out.

Blackhawks over Baghdad ...

2007-04-07T16:29:00.000-04:00

Another first for me today, I flew via Blackhawk helicopter to Fallujah for some more meetings in my never-ending turnover. I’d love to show you some pictures of my helicopter ride, but seeing as it all happened at 4:15 AM, it was kind of dark. The Sikorsky file photo will have to do.

The Army has taken to flying these flights at night to ‘cover their tracks’ – ie. if they can’t see you, they can’t shoot at you. Those of you who know me know my love/hate relationship with helos. I love that they are the folks who are coming to pick me up from a downed aircraft, but I HATE riding in them. Thankfully, I got a seat near the front, so I could see where we were going. It’s kind of a bizarre ride, they only stay on deck long enough to offload and onload passengers. As soon as I was buckled in, we were gone. The flight was relatively uneventful, and we arrived in Fallujah a few minutes later. Kenny knew our contact, ‘Jim’ from a previous ship, and I knew him from going through training with him, so the introductions weren’t new.

I do have to send thanks out to Jim for waking up at 4:00 AM to pick us up. He asked what we wanted to do first, and Kenny replied, ’A nap would be pretty good.’ So that was my experience of the day. There isn’t much to do in Fallujah, so we slept for a few hours, met with all the people we wanted to, slept a few more hours and jumped on an available helo to get us home in time for bed. Kenny made an observation that quite a few Aviators will agree with – ‘Sleep ‘till you’re hungry, eat ‘till you’re tired, repeat.’ I’d love to have more pictures to show you, but I honestly saw very little that was picture worthy, just a bed and a trailer. With that said, it’s time for more sleep. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Ain't technology great?

2007-04-06T12:40:00.000-04:00

Don’t you hate it when you get to work and realize you’ve left things at home? Today was one of those days. I had just finished my very first teleconference with some of my colleagues – that was kind of a cool thing, we were anywhere from ten miles apart to one hundred, and we were able to have a somewhat effective meeting … ok, ok, I know that most of you non-military types have done this tons of times, but the ability to do it in a combat zone where some of the guys might be talking to you from a tent was neat – and I realized stuff I needed to reference for follow up with these guys was in my ‘hooch.’ I had even laid it out so I wouldn’t forget it. Grrrrr (a favorite saying of my wife). So, I jumped in the mighty War Hummer and rolled for my trailer.

When you look on Google Maps, my office and trailer are just over two miles apart. The reality is, it’s a twenty minute drive. I, of course, chose the road behind the flatbed truck who was either lost or eating a sandwich. If the speed limit is 30, I can deal with 20 – you’re just being safe, but 10 … now that ticks me off. Normally, I would have passed, but this clown was driving down … you guessed it … the middle. Needless to say, I wasn’t too happy about using half of my lunch to get home. With no other options, I idled along behind my trucker friend and enjoyed the day. I was, however, met with quite the surprise upon my arrival at Casa Grease. It seems at least one of my ‘trouble calls’ was answered!

When I talked to the guys who got me the trailer, they said that they were using the wireless internet like champs in their trailer. Now I’m a HUGE fan of wireless internet, and reduction of wires in general (Ask my wife, she’s convinced that I want to replace all of the electronics in the family room (TV, Surround Receiver, etc) just to upgrade to HDMI capable (single wire does all audio/video) man-toys – and she’s right). When I arrived at my trailer, I tried to use my computer wirelessly, but could not get any type of signal. It would ‘see’ wireless hubs nearby, but alas no reception. I’m pretty sure I live in the only lead-lined trailer in Iraq. This would be good if I was a superhero who needed protection from Kryptonite, but when it comes to receiving wireless signals … not so much. The only way I could get internet in the beginning was to run a Cat-5 cable from the internet hub in the adjoining room, through the bathroom, across the floor to the laptop … not very efficient. On top of that, I know that the adjoining room won’t stay empty forever, and the new inhabitant might not appreciate me keeping the bathroom doors open all the time to surf when I’m home. The first night, I decided to go over to the internet folks the next morning and complain. Then the whole cold shower thing happened. My priorities rapidly changed. Eventually, I made it to Magic Island Tech. (our internet provider in the desert – I wonder if they outsource their customer service to the states – that would only seem fair). I asked the lady at Magic Island for some help with my problem, and she gave me a blank stare, thus indicating her limited conversational English did not extend to technical questions. She thrust a piece of paper at me and indicated that I should write my problem down. This was five days ago. After my experience with the water heater (still not fixed – getting old), I fully expected to never hear from the Magic Island again. That being said, I was pleasantly surprised to see a note on my desk when I returned today.

Not only had they been by, but they did exactly as I asked! I had requested that they swap out the wired hub in my trailer with a wireless one, and that’s exactly what I received. Now I have one less thing to stumble on as I make my way to the cold shower in the morning (the KBR guy did say that a team had been by and ‘cleaned out the water heater.’ I explained to him that the cleanliness of the water heater was not my big issue, the lack of HEAT was. Go figure, I’m still taking world-record speed showers in the morning. I’ve timed it; I have approximately three minutes fifteen seconds of warm water, then all cold). Maybe I’ll get lucky and they will come during the next two days (I’m traveling to Fallujah tomorrow morning for some meetings). We’ll see.

Before I sign off tonight, I want to make some shout-outs to some pretty cool people. A lot of you reading this have offered help with Karen, the kids and the impending twins. Please know that we appreciate every offer, and she will undoubtedly take you up on some. On a more selfish note, many of you out there have offered to send care packages out to me. This I really appreciate. Just last night, Karen’s cousin Helen E-mailed me. Now you have to understand, I met Helen at my wedding, and that’s about it. Karen keeps up with her, but I never expected to get her E-mails last night. It seems Helen works for a company that makes sunscreen and bug repellent (in some cases sunscreen that has bug repellent in it – cool), these are things that are in short supply in the desert. Helen gets free samples, and offered to send me a case! Now I love the typical care package stuff (cookies, brownies, etc) because they are made by the folks sending them, but Helen’s offer was pretty special – she looked on some of the blogs I have linked and noticed that one mentioned the bug problems and lack of sunscreen, and decided that this would be her niche – really thoughtful. Anyway, thank you again Helen for the generous offer and thank you all for all you do for Karen and I. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

P.S. For those of you who have requested, here is my address:

LCDR (Fill in my name here – OPSEC you know)
MNC-I IAG
APO AE 09342

The International Zone ...

2007-04-04T13:09:00.000-04:00

Well, I finally went outside the comfy confines of the base today. Kenny and I had an appointment with two Colonels we support in the International Zone. Baghdad is divided up into parts where the war still rages and areas where the coalition has some control. Camp Victory is on the west side of the city near the airport, and the IZ is smack dab in the center. Many of you will remember the IZ from the ‘Shock and Awe’ campaign. This is where most of the first few nights of the war were fought with Tomahawk missiles and bombs dropped from aircraft. Now it is the part of the city where everyone is setting up embassies. It’s only about ten miles from Victory to the IZ, but it’s ten miles on one of the more dangerous roads in Baghdad, historically (it’s relatively safe now).

The trip is made several times a day by ‘Rhino,’ an armored bus that travels with a convoy of armored humvees for more protection. Despite the massive amounts of armor on the Rhino, you still feel very vulnerable. I spent the trip looking out the front window at everything on the road, half expecting it to be an IED or suicide bomber. The great thing about traveling in a convoy is, we OWN the road. The humvees make it VERY clear to other traffic that they need to stop and let us pass. The kids riding in these things are rarely older than 20, but they are battle hard veterans. I was impressed with how professional the convoy group was. Needless to say, we made it to the IZ without a scratch, and met our contact there who drove us around. We had plenty of time before the scheduled meeting, so we did some sightseeing.

The IZ has all of the landmarks you see on TV (because most of the reporters base themselves out of there). Tim (our contact) took us by the infamous ‘crossed swords’ and parade grounds. This is the place where the famous picture of Sadaam was standing there dressed like a military clown holding the shotgun in the air. I couldn’t help myself, I had to have this photo.

We couldn’t decide if this place reminded us more of the Nazi parade grounds during the 30’s-40’s or the famous pictures of the Soviets during the May Day parades. I just wonder why one needs to have your whole military parade by you for a photo-op. I’m guessing it’s an inferiority thing. The other amazing thing was, these parades were held in the summer in Baghdad … it’s HOT in the summer in Baghdad … but that doesn’t matter when you have your very own seat air conditioner. Nothing was too good for the Baathists, who cares that your people are starving and poor, more perks for the ruling party!! Wow, I sound like a Democrat.

Tim then took us to FOB Prosperity in the IZ, where he works. On the way, we stopped by the ‘heads of Sadaam.’ These giant heads were placed on top of one of his palaces, convienently the same palace where Tim’s office is. Apparently the story is: At the end of the ground campaign in 2003, each Battalion/Brigade was allowed to take home one war trophy for the command museum. One of the Brigades got the bright idea to take Sadaam’s head home. As much as they tried, they could not fit it in anything to ship. So, they did the next best thing, they took the crown off of one of the heads and brought it home. So now, we have two giant Sadaam heads on Prosperity, one’s just missing it’s big crown.

I did find it quite funny that not everyone thinks the Sadaam heads are such a bad thing, the birds seem to enjoy having Sadaam's head as a roomy, if not twisted, home.

We went up to the palace where Tim’s office is, and discovered why the U.S. wins wars. Our soldiers are great, but our technology is AMAZING, specifically, our smart bombs and cruise missiles. We wandered around the palace and looked at some of the rubble. The floor where Tim worked had several tiny bomb holes in it, but other than that, it was fine. The lower floors however … wow.

These bombs and missiles will make a small hole for as long as they are programmed until they explode. This being said, the building was damaged from the inside out, and not the other way around. All in all it was quite the exciting trip. I’m exhausted. I know I’m leaving out some amazing stuff, but hopefully I’ll remember for a later edition. Sleep calls me, and I’m going to answer. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Ingenuity ...

2007-04-03T13:41:00.000-04:00

One of the things I said when this whole blog started a few months ago was: You have to do whatever you can to keep your sanity and make life bearable … I didn’t say that? Well, I should have. Being out here, you can lose yourself in tons of mindless daily tasks to make the days go by. That being said, those tasks need to have a common goal, or you will look back and find that you’ve accomplished nothing throughout the day. Most of my mindless daily tasks revolve around making my living arrangements as comfortable as possible. Truthfully, I don’t spend that much time in my room, but the time that is here, I want to be relaxing. Thankfully, I discovered one of the tricks early on in this venture: Guys going home want to GIVE you their stuff. Now I’m not saying they want to give you everything for free, but they will give more free stuff than you expect.

The day started out with my preparations for my first trip ‘outside the wires.’ I was to head from Camp Victory to the International Zone for a meeting. Now I know guys who’ve been over here are saying, that’s not REALLY outside the wires, you’re traveling in an armored bus on a highway that’s lined with HUGE cement barriers for less than ten miles.” I didn’t say it was the most dangerous trip, just my first time outside. I arrived at the office at six in the morning, put on my armor and helmet, and readied to go. Just then, Kenny arrived to tell me that the meeting was rescheduled for tomorrow … couldn’t have told me that ten minutes ago, huh … before I put on ALL of the armor. Oh well, Kenny and I found ourselves in a strange place, we had nothing scheduled for the whole morning. We decided to head over to one of the contract equipment install sites to meet some folks I’d be working with. Of course, since we hadn’t planned this … they weren’t there. This is where we get to my living arrangements. As we were walking around aimlessly, we spotted some soldiers installing equipment on Humvees. That, however, wasn’t really what caught our eyes – it was the wooden crates the equipment had arrived in. The crates were surprisingly similar in size to a coffee table. Normally, in my squadron days, we would have snuck up there and stolen a crate. However, being older, wiser, and more fearful of retribution, we walked up to the site manager to inquire about the crates. He took one look at the crates in question and said, “you don’t want those, you want the good ones in the shop, take as many as you want.” A quick trip to Haji-mart for some hinges and a hasp, and I have brand new coffee table.

It doesn’t seem like much to the casual observer, but it makes the trailer-half feel more like a room. Kenny and I went by his trailer to pick up some other stuff, and he (after seeing my room) commented that I might want some more of his stuff. His shelves, carpets, bike, etc. All for free, he’s already getting money from me for his TV and fridge, but he doesn’t have room to take any of the other stuff home (nor does he want to – he got most of it for free from people prior to him. So, thanks to Kenny, I will soon have a trailer that would make Martha Stewart gag (but I think she’d give me an ‘A’ for effort). Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Happy April Fool's Day

2007-04-01T13:04:00.000-04:00

I’d love to come up with some sort of really good April Fools joke to play on the family back home, but the more I thought of that, the more I realized it’s probably not the best idea. They worry to much as it is. I’ve spent the last three days going through massive amounts of turnover with Kenny. The good news is, the job gets a bit more manageable every day. It seems huge when you first look at it, but the reality is: it’s just like any other job I’ve had in the Navy. If you can get yourself ahead of the game, then all you are doing is waiting to put out the occasional ‘Flaming Chicken.’ We spent hours today pouring ourselves into a spreadsheet that probably won’t be needed for a month. The good news is: it’s done, and when the powers that be ask for the data, we’ll just E-mail them the work we did today (I’m sure it won’t be quite that easy, but one can hope). Next week I’ll start the ‘on the road’ portion of the turnover, so the blog’s may be spaced out a bit. Kenny’s taking me to all of the FOB’s where I have people who I support. It’s also a good way to get a face to face with the people who support you. E-mail and phone calls are nice, but it’s easier to ask someone to bend over backwards for you if you actually met them before.

We had a promotion/awards ceremony the other day, and I was amazed at the lengths that these folks go to, to take care of the families. They had the promotion set up with a video tele-conference, so the loved ones at home could watch. I thought it was a nice gesture. As I stood there, I was looking at the command flags that were placed behind the awardees (even in the desert, you put up some flags just like we would back home). I haven’t said this before, but the Army unit that is in charge of the IAG (Iraq Assistance Group) is the First Infantry Division out of Fort Riley, Kansas. Most of you know this division as the ‘Big Red One.’ As I was looking at the Big Red One’s Flag, I was looking at the campaign pennants that were flying from the top of the flag (on military flags they will often have small pennants on the top denoting major campaigns that the unit has participated in or led). The names on the pennants were humbling: Cantigny, Soissons, the Argonne Forest, North Africa, Sicily, Normandy and so on. I began to realize that, despite what most aviators will tell you, ground forces win wars. The amount of history in that flag made hit me in such a way, that I felt compelled to go home last night and research the history of this unit to which I am assigned. The sheer volume of the information was staggering. One of the benefits of being deployed with an Army unit in the way that I am is: when I have been with the unit for one month, they will allow me to wear the patch of their unit on my sleeve (one sleeve already has the JCCS-1 patch, but the other one is open). I can’t think of a greater honor, than to wear the patch of a unit so steeped in tradition. I’m pretty sure (who am I kidding, I know) my Dad would have been proud of this. What’s even more amazing about this group is: they’re IA’s too! The First Infantry Division is currently at home in Kansas, but members of the division have volunteered to come over here to teach the Iraqis how to do it on their own. There are other members from other units who have come here as well, but the IAG is First Division heavy. Even our CG (Commanding General) is one of the First Division generals (there are three at the First, an overall commander (Major General), and two Assistant Commanders (Brigadier Generals). We have one of the Brigadier Generals. All that said, the more I learn about this job, the more I realize that there are some really spectacular folks in the Army, and I’m lucky to be associated with them. I’m going to head over to the phone tent and call home. I’ll leave you with the motto of my new found division:

“No Mission Too Difficult, No Sacrifice Too Great – Duty First”

Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Every silver lining has a dark cloud ...

2007-03-30T14:12:00.000-04:00

Well, it looks as if my post yesterday about the perfect home may have been a bit pre-mature. Don’t get me wrong, the place is great – it just has one tiny flaw. I woke up this morning after a refreshing night in a very soft bed, and readied myself to take the perfect shower. The water was hot and plentiful (seriously, the shower head puts out enough water to wash horses … or really small elephants). I stepped in and began my day…… After about five minutes, the water began to cool slightly. No big deal, right? I just adjusted the hot cold mixture a bit and continued on. Ten seconds later, the heat went away. Now when I say away, I don’t mean that it gradually died down or the pressure began to drop – the water got cold – fast. Finding myself in this predicament a thousand times onboard aircraft carriers, I did what all good aviators do – I finished the shower in approximately 15 seconds. Shivering and very, very cold, I turned up the heat in my trailer to the max and tried to get the ice water off of me. Oh wait, did I mention that as the water got cold, it also changed colors to a nice burnt umber sort of color. I took a look at the water heater and discovered that I know absolutely nothing about water heaters (ask my sister about Thanksgiving, 2001 and she will confirm this fact). Needless to say, I was quite dismayed at the hot water situation, so I took my case to the Mayor. This is what they call the Army guy who owns all of the housing. He took one look at me and sent me to the KBR trailer. Not only does KBR control our food and bussing, they also own maintenance on the trailers. I filled out the required forms in triplicate, and expected to hear when a crew would be dispatched to the once perfect trailer. Once again, I was dismayed to see the nice lady (probably on her own IA from the DMV) half-smile at me and place my form on top of what looked like a New York City phonebooks worth of other forms. Beaten and still cold, I trudged off to work, with the knowledge that someday I may get hot water again – just not today. My friends at work told me not to worry about it, because it’s starting to get hot. They explained to me that the water was stored in above ground tanks that will begin to heat up soon, and a hot shower will be the least of my concerns. I reminded them that someday (this fall and winter) I WILL need some hot water again. They did not seem to care, mostly for two reasons. One, they did not get the Gucci one-man ‘wet’ trailers and were quite jealous, and two, they are both leaving within a month, so my trivial water issues are of little concern to them.

The day was not a total loss however. ‘Kenny’ and I had some good turnover, and he offered to sell me his TV and refrigerator upon his departure in three weeks. He’s also throwing in some folding chairs for good measure. So I will be able to sit, enjoy a cool beverage and watch TV as I try to thaw out after each morning’s shower. I believe I will place the TV in the den with a nice arrangement of chairs around it. The fridge will stay in the kitchen area.

All kidding aside, it was a very productive day. I learned a ton about my job, and realized the amazing scope of what the Coalition is undertaking here. I will be supporting the IAG, which is short for Iraqi Assistance Group. This command is a collection of teams that is spread throughout the country integrated with Iraqi forces. The teams are there as advisors to help the Iraqi units get up to speed on how business should be done. When it comes time to turn over the protection of the populous back to the Iraqis, the IAG will have played a major role in making that happen. Needless to say, the task is daunting. I have a responsibility to support literally hundreds of these small units all over the country. They may win the war by being with the people, but I will win my part by E-mailing and calling the people who are with the people. The good news is that these guys are onboard with the idea that I am their conduit to assistance, but that one of my brother EWO’s around the country may be the person who is actually hands-on with their problems. I have a lot to learn in the next three weeks, but I’m pretty confident that I can get it done (mostly because I get a three-week turnover, vice the four-day one most of the guys get). Okay, enough for tonight. Until tomorrow.
-Grease out.

New house, new car, what more could a boy want?

2007-03-29T17:46:00.000-04:00

It’s finally happened … I have a home! I am the proud owner of a 24’ x 18’ foot room, complete with inside plumbing! My friend came through as promised and got us into the nice trailers. I spent most of the afternoon and evening putting things away, thus ensuring that someone will come by soon to tell me to move. It’s not much, but it’s better than a tent. Plus I have internet in the room, so I’m actually writing this from my desk (although, I’m having problems sending pictures right now, so Karen and the kids will have to wait to see all the photos I took today – I’ll try to load some to the blog). The room is surprisingly quiet. I’ve been used to being in a 50-man tent for so long, I don’t know what to do with the silence – okay that’s better, I put some music on). Either way, I’m pretty darn happy to have a place of my own … now I just need to find a TV.

But before you think that that’s all that happened today, I got a car too! I went to start my turnover with ‘Kenny,’ and he decided I should have his car. He lives across the street from the office, and I’m pretty far away, so I appreciated the gesture (he told me that it was nothing, since I’m the guy whose arrival means he can go home). He gave me the keys to my very own battle tested Humvee (That’s kind of a joke, the war models don’t have keys … or locks … or a real roof in my case). This beautiful piece of Mishawaka, Indiana engineering (the AMC plant) has a new engine (last one blew up), new tires, and a roof that’s made of plywood … yes plywood. Kenny had me take it out for a test ride to get used to it. The Army has some bizarre rules about driving these things. I have to wear my battle helmet to ride in it. Eventually, I might get it replaced with a leased SUV (The military has decided it’s cheaper to lease new SUV’s than to continually repair these old Hummers), but for now it’s mine. My car is a Fobbit, which means I can’t take it off the FOB (Forward Operating Base), not that I would want to. It has some rudimentary armor, but not enough to drive around this town. The Fobbit part comes from the Lord of the Rings … Hobbits were people who never left the Shire. So, while I’m in Camp Liberty/Victory, this is my ride (thus making me the envy of my friends).

While we were zipping around the FOB, Kenny took me by some sights. First was the Perfume Palace, named that because Saadam kept his concubines there. When the Coalition troops took it, it was the nicest smelling building in Baghdad. Next was the Flintstone Palace across the lake from the Perfume Palace. This is a strange type of palace, as it is designed for kids (Saadam’s grandkids, I assume) and it looks like it was a set from the Flintstones (It kind of looks like the entry to a ride at a Six Flags or Disney).

Behind the Flintstone Palace is a palace that was never completed, and still has the cranes sitting idle next to it. He was building this palace to commemorate the victory over the Americans in 1991 … hmmm, kind of ironic, don’t you think. They have a lot of memorials to events in this country that never happened, go figure. If he were alive today, I’m sure he’d be designing a palace to commemorate his victory in 2003. Well, it’s late, and I have a new bed to break in. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out

Who says Intel guys aren't cool ...

2007-03-28T14:43:00.000-04:00

That's kind of a jab at my friend, Stoli. I feel that I have to give him a hard time, as he is an Intelligence Officer ... and worse yet, Air Force (Insert Air Power joke here ... lol). I can't give Stoli too much of a hard time, he was the first person to link to my blog (back in early March, it took me until yesterday to link to his) and because he has arranged the impossible ... he got me a room! Not just any room mind you, but a TRAILER HALF. Yes, tomorrow I will be the proud owner of my very own half of a single-wide trailer (complete with shared bathroom, and NO roommate!). For those of you who were interested, I did pass my test. I'll start turnover with the guy I'm relieving tomorrow. This means I could have a mailing address as early as tomorrow. I'll keep you posted. That's it for today, I have to go pack.

-Grease out

Phase II: Warm liquid goo phase ... complete

2007-03-27T14:18:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the obscure Austin Powers reference, but it’s kind of an exciting day. We finished our classes today and will take the final exam tomorrow. It’s nice to be making progress towards the goal of getting out there and starting our jobs. We finished the day by going to a hands-on laboratory of sorts at Camp Slayer (finally an Army camp with a name we can be proud of). With all the camps I’ve been to in my time here, I’ve never really strayed outside the large stone/cement walls that encircle the western Baghdad area. All of the camps in this area are connected, so you can travel freely between them. I had wondered for some time whether we built the wall structure, or if it was already here when the Allies took Baghdad. After asking a few folks, I got an answer. The area we’re in was the Baghdad Zoological Park, complete with a bunch of palaces in the middle for Sadaam and his cronies/sons. Now when I say it was the Baghdad Zoo, that’s kind of tongue in cheek. It was actually a large hunting preserve for Sadaam and the boys … now that’s sporting … the animals are raised inside the walls, and Sadaam and the gang hunt them down. At least in the wild, the animals might have a chance to get away, but not here. Meanwhile, his people are starving. All this just reinforces my belief that taking this guy out was the right thing to do. I wonder what happened to the animals when we showed up. Hopefully, some of those ‘rescue’ organizations were given opportunities to get some of the animals to REAL zoos where they could get care without the fear that some spoiled tyrant was going to pop them in the head with an elephant gun. I’m guessing that, since they were raised in a preserve, releasing them into the wild would just make them some wild animal’s dinner.

Despite all of the negative things about this place, there are some amazing sights. The architecture in the buildings is breathtaking. I would expect it from the mosques and palaces (I expect them to look pretty amazing everywhere – they usually do), but the everyday homes in this area are cool too. Now, you must understand, the homes I’m looking at are FOS homes (Friends of Sadaam), so they are pretty close to palaces themselves. The ones that don’t have 2,000 lb. bomb holes in them would probably make any dream home list (heck, even the bombed out ones are cool). It’s just funny to see what we’ve done with them. All of our individual units need buildings to work out of, so you’ll see Army Legal Services, MP Brigade, etc. signs on all of the usable buildings. There’s even an Army Retention office in one of the buildings (I find that ironic, if they’re here – they’re already retained, so to speak). I guess if I have to be here, I should enjoy the sights while I have time. Wish me luck on my test tomorrow (…it’s a Navy test … luck has little to do with it). Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Changes and harsh realities ...

2007-03-27T14:08:00.000-04:00

This was a new sight for me today. I’ve heard explosions nearby during my time here (mostly mortars and rockets), but never actually seen one. I have no way of knowing, but my assumption has to be that this was an IED of some sort (or maybe not, it might just be a house fire for all I know). The size of the blast and general direction (downtown Baghdad) lead me to that conclusion, but as I said, I really don’t know. Either way, it tends to bring things home a bit. During my time here, I’ve been somewhat secluded behind the walls of the camps here. You know stuff is happening in the world around you, but most of the time you don’t see it. This can be a scary place, but it makes my job all the more important. I truly believe the people I work with (and for) are making a difference. People at home just see the CNN end result, the number of IED attacks remains at a high constant. This is what you see when all you see is the mainstream media. When you’re over here, you realize that, despite the fact that the numbers remain high, we’re making it more and more difficult every day for the enemy. Every time we ratchet up our pressure, they have to become more daring in how they carry out these attacks. Eventually, they have to expose themselves in the face of the pressure, and this is when we get them. Kind of makes me proud of the folks I work around.

As is the way with things over here, change is a constant. Just yesterday, I was telling you that I was going to get the job and location that I had been gearing for … not so fast. It turns out that I am getting the job, but the location has changed slightly. I will be staying here for the duration, and not moving to the ‘Green Zone’ as I had originally thought. Oh well, say goodbye to the pool and all of the nice lady reporters, and say hello to a trailer here in Camp Victory. As it stands, it’s probably a good thing – I know the area here well, so I won’t have to start over. Well, I’m off to the gym. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

Start of a new day ...

2007-03-25T15:08:00.000-04:00

Some of the best advice I ever received came from my sister many years ago. After a particularly rough period in my life, she told me not to attack all my problems at once. She told me to focus on one area at a time, fix it, and move on to the next one. After time, you’ll forget what you were so down about in the first place. It seems simple, but I’ve used this many times in my life and it continues to work until this day. When I left off last night, I was definitely in quite the funk. I decided at about two in the morning (darn that jet-lag) to put her ideas to work. I decided to wake up in the morning and take a nice hot shower and attack today with as positive an attitude as I could muster. After that, I would set out to start over here in Baghdad with a new group of classmates. Amazingly enough, life one-upped me.

The first two people I ran into in the shower (… the shower TRAILER, not the actual shower … get your mind out of the gutter), were two guys I knew from my previous class who had fallen behind in the training for one reason or another. This was quite the relief, as I would not have to head to class without knowing anyone (also I had people to eat breakfast with … one of the other great tidbits of advice I received in college was to never eat alone unless you really want to). As I surveyed the class, I realized that I knew quite a few of the folks in the class from previous Navy days. The rest of the folks in the class were as enjoyable to be around as the last class. This came as a huge relief, as the last thing I wanted was to sit in a room for the next week with no one to talk to. Long story short, today turned out to be significantly better than I had ever hoped for. I’m not saying all of the things in my life are perfect yet, but it’s a darn good start.

The best part of the day was discovering that the new class started last Wednesday, so I was able to pick up right where I left off. I also found out that the job I had been looking forward to before I left is still mine (at this point … all things are subject to change in the ‘Navy of One’). All this made today’s classes somewhat enjoyable (even though I’d had this day of instruction before).

In what shouldn’t be a surprise to me at this point in my career; even though you change the personnel, the antics remain the same. I just watched two of my tentmates participate in the time honored ritual of the poor man’s haircut. Mind you, haircuts here in the desert run a mind-numbing three dollars. These two decided to do it the old fashioned way. Unfortunately, shortly after this photo was taken, the two were overtaken by clouds of white smoke. Apparently, they forgot that small appliances designed to work in America don’t do as well when used in 220 volt foreign outlets. Once again, I’m home. Until tomorrow.

-Grease out.

A return to normalcy, sort of ...

2007-03-25T15:00:00.000-04:00

Well, my three weeks of emergency leave are over, and I returned to my familiar tent city this evening. Unfortunately, it’s a different tent, a new class and a whole new group of people. It’s a mixed blessing. The old tent and group were familiar, but this new group gives me the opportunity to meet more folks in my command. Besides, the new tent is much nicer than the old one … all of the amenities we stole to help build the last tent are already here! I did go stop by the old tent for nostalgia’s sake. I think the guys who inhabit it now think I was some kind of stalker, as I peered in and looked at my old home of two weeks, then left without a word. I should have known it was too good to be true when I said farewell to tent city and hello to a new job. As it stands now, I’m pretty sure the job that was lined up for me is long gone, and the new search begins. Oh well, Que Sera Sera.

Saying goodbye the second time was definitely harder than before. My kids didn’t know what the separation was all about when I left in January, but they sure as heck knew now. It’s a big thing for a six-year old girl to say goodbye to her Grandfather and two weeks later say goodbye to Daddy (albeit different circumstances). I’m pretty sure my son knew that there was something to be sad about, but he just couldn’t figure out what (the joys of being four). I was glad that I was able to spend some more time with my wife as the babies were moving quite a bit more and were able to hear my voice (she also had a ‘Honey-Do’ list as long as your arm!) Hopefully things will settle back into some sort of rhythm here again. Until they do, I’ll just have to keep working on getting out of this ‘funk’ I’m in. Until later.

-Grease out.

Friends in Strange Places ...

2007-03-05T00:02:00.000-05:00

It’s amazing how much can change in 84 hours … 84 hours ago, I was in Camp Liberty in Baghdad getting ready to walk to the gym for a well deserved workout … all things were somewhat normal in my life. 84 hours later, my father has passed, I’m in Atlanta helping my sister and mother deal with it, and I’ve eaten enough chicken to kill a horse (more later). The whole thing is kind of surreal … I’m not going to talk about my dad today, I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. I want to focus on the friends you find along the way.

I was getting ready to walk to the workout when I was summoned to the JCCS-1 building. The CDR who came to get me was great, he knew that I was going to get bad news, but he kept the conversation light. He told me that there had been an emergency and I needed to call home. My first thoughts were of my VERY pregnant wife or my kids. I worried on this for a short time, then my common sense took hold and reminded me that if it was them, I wouldn’t be calling HOME … they wouldn’t be there. At that point, I knew it was my dad. He’s struggled with some medical issues for about six years, and I wasn’t completely surprised (Like said, I’ll pass on thoughts of him later, I just don’t think I’m ready to put them down on paper yet … go figure). When I was informed of my dad’s passing, the folks at JCCS-1 rolled into action. I can’t thank them enough, they had me set to get home before I was even off the phone with my wife. To make a long story short (too late), three plane rides, three bus rides and 46 hours later, I was in Atlanta with my mother and sister (my wife and kids will arrive tomorrow). This is where it gets interesting.

I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born, and everyone else that was close to me (two grandmothers and two uncles) died while I was deployed. My mother was shocked to hear that this would be the first funeral I have ever attended. I’ve been to memorials for an uncle and quite a few fellow aviators who have lost their lives while in the line of duty, but never to an actual funeral. I was amazed at how our friends and family reacted to this. My sister has a group of friends that anyone would be proud to call their own. These girls were over at the house within minutes of being informed and stayed until they knew my mom and sister were going to be okay. My favorite is my sister’s friend Laura … the lawyer. Laura is the lawyer among us (and she's the type of lawyer NOT to be messed with). When the official type folks (EMT, medical examiner, funeral home personnel) came to my mom with paperwork to sign (release of the body, etc), Laura was in there like a hawk, reviewing the documents, making sure my mom wasn’t signing anything she shouldn’t. To this day, Laura is my favorite person to debate with about almost any issue (don’t mess with her on religion though … minister for a dad … she’s a tiger). These ladies who call themselves my sister’s friends (my sister likes to say, ”I got lucky in that department”) have earned themselves a special place in heaven. They are of the highest caliber, and deserve accolades. I hope someday that someone will look at me and say that I was that type of friend. If that is the case, then I’ve been a success in my life … that’s how great these girls are. I’m proud to say that they are my friends as well, just not to the level that they are my sisters.

Shortly after the word began to spread, our neighbors (I should say friends there as well) joined in the fray. I like to refer to this as the ‘time of the Jews.’ Some of you may find that offensive, but if you grew up in my neighborhood, you’d understand that it is the utmost reverence that I refer to these folks. I grew up in a neighborhood where I had, seemingly, as many Jewish neighbor as Catholic/Christian ones. I was well versed in the rites of the Jewish faith as a kid (to this day, I love matzoh bread and smile when I hear the horn blown on Rosh Hashanah). I really think that my exposure to multiple religions as a child made me a better person as an adult. Having some background in different faiths mad me understand how we are special, each in our own way. Our neighbor Debbie is the perfect example of this. I’ve known Mrs. L. for almost thirty years and she is a special today as she was in 1977. Debbie thrust herself into the forefront and let folks know that she would be coordinating all of the food for the next week. That may sound weird to some of y’all, but to us, it was a godsend. People call to ask what they can bring, and we give them her number. The amount of stress that she has taken on is amazing (thus lifting us of the stress). When I asked her about it, she said, “We’re Jews, this is what we do … we feed you during the time you need feeding.” That may seem trite and insensitive to some, but I really look at it as, they are feeding us during our time of need. The food isn’t always food you eat, sometimes it’s food for the soul. Sometimes the simple act of being there is enough. The Jews have had thousands of years of practice, and in my opinion, they’re pretty damn good. I will come away from this with a whole new respect for our neighbors. They truly buy into the concept of ‘giving forward.’ When you give this now, you will get it in return someday. I cannot thank them enough for the love they have shown us … it’s beyond anything I could have ever imagined. With that said, we have received meals enough to feed a small kingdom in a third-world nation (with a lot of chicken ... don't get me wrong, we love it ... when you're grieving ... it's all fat-free, lol).

Needless to say, it’s been a long two days. The list of thank’s is way too long for just my simple blog, but I’ll try. I want to send out thanks to a few special folks who have been here for us (not just today, but in the past as well). First to my sister’s friends: Laura, Susan, Allison (the really nice one … only Allison will understand that), Tom, Larry, Michelle, all the others, and all of Lisa’s friends at work … thanks, you people have been her rock for the last six years, and beyond that. God bless all of you. To our neighbors: Debbie, Rosalyn, Saul, Mike, Janet, and all the other residents of North Wellington, past and present who have been with us in the last few days … God bless you too. To my mom’s work friends: thank you for being her strength during the last few years. Finally to my friends: Dave, Tom, all the folks stuck in Iraq, and the rest who I can’t remember right now. Thank you for being there when we(I) needed it so much. To these and all the others who I forgot to mention … thank you from my mother, sister and I. The next few days will be hard for us, but your thoughts, efforts and presence make all of it easier. Know that you will all have a special place in our hearts. With that, I think I should cut it off here. I think I’ll leave you with my father’s favorite (and most important) prayer:

The Serenity Prayer

God, Grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change
the things I can,

And the wisdom
To know the difference

-Grease out.

R.I.P. - T.F.D. 31 Dec 1938 - 01 Mar 2007

Emergency Leave ...

2007-03-02T06:06:00.000-05:00

I'm presently in Kuwait (again) returning home on emergency leave due to the unexpected death of my father on 01 March. I will be at my parent's home for the forseeable future, so the blog might get stale. I will try to post when I can.
-Grease out.

Is this the end for Pod 7, Row 3? ...

2007-02-28T09:06:00.000-05:00

Stay tuned to find out ... new developments every day! I might actually have a real home soon!! ... Or, I might remain here until the end of time ... wow, deep.

-Grease out.

Back to School ... with Gifts!

2007-02-27T13:04:00.000-05:00

Note my high quality prison compund of a home above ...

We had our first day of class today … I forgot how painful ‘death by powerpoint’ can be. The info wasn’t that bad (I hope y’all understand that I can’t go into ANY type of specifics about it), but the instructional style needs work. I guess I’m a bit hard on them, having done instructional tours before, but is it so hard to look at your audience while speaking? Also, the Army has this strange aversion to introductions at the beginning of a lesson. Maybe it’s a difference in philosophy, but we were always taught to introduce yourself and give a very short background on who you are. It makes all the difference in the world when I know that the person speaking has some experience relevant to the topic. I’m not saying that you need to have years of combat experience to give a lecture, but it does let me know whether I can ask you more specific questions, or if I should seek out another SME (Subject Matter Expert). Other than that, it was good information … I just don’t know where I’m going to use it (still no status on my eventual job – at this point, it’s becoming comical – people ask, “So, where are you going?” and my answer remains the same: no idea). Maybe they’ll decide they don’t need me and send me home! … and maybe I’ll win the Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes without submitting an entry. As a postscript to this, I sat through a class today where they went over ‘instructional skills and techniques’ (this to a room full of folks, most of whom have been instructors before). The instructor turned around and read the slides to us with his back turned … go figure.

I did have one very positive note to end the day, my wife sent me two large packages from home! Not knowing where I will wind up has made care packages hard. I have the temporary address that my wife used, but I can’t give it out to the rest of the family (including my sister-in-law in Colorado who says she’s baking at a feverish pace – I need more gym time) because I don’t know if I’ll be here next week! Most of the stuff my wife sent were the things I had staged for her to ship to me so I wouldn’t have to carry them (toiletries, some items to make my room seem like home, etc.), but she did throw a few surprises in with the boxes. It’s nice to get stuff from home from time to time, and she’s great at making each box personal. This while she’s wrestling with two kids in the belly and two kids ransacking the house … I think I’ll go give her a call … the blog can wait for today. Until tomorrow (or the next day or the next day) …
-Grease out.

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K ...

2007-02-26T12:26:00.000-05:00

I finally started class today, so I haven't had time to compose a post for today (that and random sunspots (or some other natural disaster) prevented me from making any contact with the outside world yesterday. More to come. Stay tuned for some VERY important words from our sponsor!
-Grease out.

Farewells and Dispensations ...

2007-02-26T12:14:00.000-05:00

February 25, 2007 –

I have decided that the blog will be my ‘cruise hobby.’ I’ve always believed that you need a hobby of some sort while you’re on these deployments, mostly to maintain sanity, but in some way to improve yourself. It doesn’t always work out that way, but it’s a good way to approach these extended absences from home. My first deployment, I was the webmaster for the squadron website, so I taught myself basic to intermediate HTML. That was one of those occasions where I did something to expand myself. My most recent deployment … we played video games … Halo 2 to be exact … a lot … every night. I don’t know if it ‘expanded my horizons,’ but it sure was a nice way to put the day behind you. That, and I became quite the fearsome force with that sniper rifle (maybe, subconsciously, I was training for this deployment). I realized this morning (as I was uploading cool pictures to my blog, and making it look somewhat professional) that I’ve always wanted to journal some of my experiences, but have never taken the time (mostly because my handwriting is so atrocious it becomes painful to write – my mom saw me write and thought she had a doctor in the making – instead she got a naval officer – at least I got the white uniform part right). With the digital age upon us, there’s no good reason for me not to document ‘life’s travels.’ I should add that one of my goals every deployment is to get back into good shape, and I’m pretty good about it – it’s that time period between deployments that needs some work (if you listen very quietly, you can hear my wife nodding vigorously right now).

I tend to look at deployments as a series of phases or stepping stones that all deployed military go through during their time away (I already told you about the part where your conversations take on a kind of ‘frat-house’ flavor). I bumped headlong into another of these this morning. As I was walking back to the tent after playing blog-master, I bumped into a couple of my friends over here and asked them what they were doing. They informed me that they were headed to church to, and I quote,”get their worship on.” I was actually embarrassed because, I didn’t even realize it was Sunday. When there is no weekend to speak of, your days become one long string of work-weeks quickly. When I was a young married Catholic, I used to give my wife a hard time about going to church. Our mass was painfully early, and we would usually be up late on Saturday nights doing DINK things (Dual-Income, No Kids). She would drag me there about 75% of the time, but occasionally I won, and we lay in bed for a few extra hours. When you become a father (at least in my case), you revisit the reasons you went to church in the first place (ie. The God part comes back to you when you hold a perfect child in your arms). You also need to be the good role model to these kids you’re raising in the church. Needless to say, I missed mass today. My wonderful Mother-in-Law would tell me that I get the military dispensation (for you non-Catholics, that means you can break some of the church’s rules when you’re dispensed – ie. Meat on Friday during Lent, etc), and tell me not to worry about it (this from the woman who would subject her kids to a blizzard to get to mass on time – or sort of on time). Then my Father-in-Law (the ex-seminarian) would tell us that we are full of crap, and to get to church. Dispensation or not, I feel bad about losing track of the days of the week. I made a point of it on my last deployment to get to mass on Sundays and holy days. I guess I’ll have to figure out some way to remember that it’s Sunday (now that I’ve posted this, my wife will be sending E-mails every Saturday night to remind me – bless her heart).

The first groups of guys are leaving right now to catch planes/helicopters to other bases in Iraq. It’s kind of bittersweet; we’ve been training together for the last month and a half and have become somewhat close. The sad thing is: once they leave, most of us will never see each other again. When it comes time to head to our homes, we’ll travel home from where we’re forward deployed, not from the headquarters we’re at now. I say that it’s kind of bittersweet, and it is … kind of. My years in the Navy have told me one thing, I’ll bump into some of these folks at the most unexpected times in the future. Oh well, enough typing, I’m going to go say my goodbyes to some of the gang. Until tomorrow (or the next day)
-Grease out.

Telephone Blues

2007-02-24T08:10:00.000-05:00

February 24, 2007 –

My apologies for the length of the last post, I was typing the comments on the computer while I decided whether or not to actually set up a blog. From here on out, the comments should be more along the lines of one post at a time (No guarantees about frequency, I have a feeling that I will become busy in the coming weeks).

One of the annoying things about being thousands of miles from home is communication. Don’t get me wrong, what we have now is light-years ahead of what our predecessors had (or even what I had on my first deployment). The biggest problem is the unreliability of the communication devices.

Let me give you background. We have four main methods of immediate contact with loved ones at home. The first is the AT&T telephone kiosks. AT&T has been great over the years at making sure there are phones wherever there are troops in the field. We use pre-paid calling cards that can be recharged by our loved ones at home (they offer the best phone rate – around 30¢/minute from Iraq). These are the same cards I used from the ship on previous deployments (utilizing the satellite-based ‘Sailor-Phone’). The AT&T option is easy, but somewhat unreliable. It doesn’t take much for the phone center to lose it’s satellite uplink (more on that later). The second option is E-mail. This is limited by the availability of the computers and the connection speed. I can tell you that in Iraq right now, we are connecting at speeds slower than dial-up. E-mail is nice, but can turn into a frustrating affair. The next two options are relatively new to the deployed theatre: Web-cam chat and VOIP phones. The VOIP (Voice over internet protocol) is awesome when it’s working. The folks at SPAWAR Europe (A unit in the Dept of Defense) have us set up with 3¢/minute rates on a phone that has about the same delay as the AT&T phones (you speak, five seconds later they hear you, etc.). I haven’t seen too many connection problems with the VOIP phones, so this may be the wave of the future. The video chat is novel, but it requires too much bandwidth to be used over here (I did see folks using it in Kuwait, where they have a more robust internet backbone).

The moral of the story is: Don’t EVER get your hopes up about being able to contact home, and be happy when you can. I left you last saying I was going to the phone center to talk to the kids as they got home from school. They don’t usually have too much to say, but I think the most important thing is telling them I love them any chance I can. As I was leaving the tent, I got into a conversation about this very subject and that got me excited about talking to them. I walked over to the phone tent (inside my prison compound of cement) and found out that the phones were out for the night. I sat there for a time and thought of walking the mile in the dark to the VOIP phone center. Intelligence got the better of me and I decided to remain in the safe confines of the tents until first light. I figured getting injured walking in the dark was probably not worth the phone call. One of the many gems they teach in Naval Aviation is: Is the risk worth the reward (ie. Is it worth flying through the thunderstorm just to get home a few hours early?) I decided to skip the reward for a time. So that’s where I am, watching the clock on my computer (I have this cool system clock called ZoneTick that shows time in multiple time zones on my little system tray. Right now it has 13:24 in Baghdad (gotta be military time) and 05:24 in Norfolk (Highlighted in red so I don’t call while they are sleeping) – I guess I’ll have to wait a few hours.

The KBR guys have just entered the tent. They observed us stealing lockers and mattresses from the other unoccupied tents, and decided to outfit our tent with lockers. The problem with that is: there is NO WAY we will fit one locker in here for every bed – we’re squished as it is. These guys don’t seem to have a problem with that, however. They have a work order for 50 lockers to be delivered and they’re going to do it. The tent is starting to look like your home as soon as the movers drop off the last of your stuff. Giant obstructions everywhere – thankfully they didn’t take the full lockers out to put in empty ones. Oh well, I’m going to go observe our contractor friends, just to keep things sane – as if that was an option at this point.
-Grease out.

Greetings From Baghdad

2007-02-24T03:15:00.000-05:00

I decided that, this deployment, I would compose my thoughts more like a Weblog rather than an occasional letter (I looked back at the letters from last deployment, and realized that there were a ton of amazing moments that were missed due to my long space between letters). I haven’t decided whether I will E-mail it, or turn it into a regular ‘Blog.’ Several guys I know have ‘blogs’ over here and they find them therapeutic when it comes to relaying the scenes encountered here. With all that said, here we go:

February 17, 2007 –
This is the day we head into country for the first time. It’s kind of a strange feeling, seeing as how my career to this point has been all about avoiding being on the ground in Iraq. We left Camp Virginia, Kuwait around 11AM to head over to Al Asad Air Force Base for the flight. So far this was the best run operation of the entire lot. We didn’t have to wait too long and we boarded our C-130 early. We flew up to BIAP (Baghdad Int’l Airport) in about an hour. The approach is quite amazing. Anyone who’s been in a C-130 can tell you the accommodations are Spartan at best. You have about 15 inches of butt space on a fabric sling. When we’re about 15 miles out (most approaches start around 100 miles) our pilot begins a descent that will take your breath away. The insurgents like to fire small arms at aircraft, so we put the plane in a 60° nose down dive (most of you have never been below a 15° dive). He than begins to turn the plane somewhat wildly to become unpredictable to folks on the ground. We pull out of the dive in just enough time to put the landing gear down and hit the runway. Welcome to the war!

We grabbed our gear, some dinner, and headed to our temporary home at Camp Liberty, Iraq (the Army has such cute names for the camps – Liberty, Victory, Perseverance, Striker, etc). None of us know where we will wind up in Iraq yet, so they put us up at the Army’s version of the Ritz. I’m in a 60 man tent that is surrounded on all sides with 12 foot tall cement barriers. Even the individual tents are separated by barriers. If I walk outside, all I see is cement and gravel, even though my friends are only a few feet away. I guess they do this in case one tent is hit by a mortar, it won’t spread to the other tents. Where the ground isn’t gravel, it’s mud … thick mud. Apparently it’s the rainy season, and the ground doesn’t absorb water well. We ventured through the mud pits to the exchange across the street (1/4 mile) to call home and look around. At this point, spirits are pretty high, if only because we are laughing so hard at the strange situation we are in. Hopefully tomorrow will be dry. Until then.
-Grease out.

February 18, 2007 –
I was finally able to see the area around the tents today (It was dark when we arrived here, and dark in Baghdad is DARK). There isn’t much here except us and construction. We wandered over to the exchange and bought some random things needed for quality of life (an outlet strip that fits the local plugs – thankfully our laptops work without a voltage converter – gotta love the Japanese). We also stopped at the Haji (affectionate term for the locals) Bazaar. You name it, they sell it. We were all looking for the leather shoulder holsters that most folks wear here. The thigh holster is a bit cumbersome, and takes away one of your pockets. Alas, Haji did not have the one I want, so I will look at Camp Victory tomorrow.

We returned to our camp to find our first conflict of the war. It appears that a group of Army soldiers using the same temporary area thinks that the tent with our females in it belongs to them. Picture the sight: Seiko (a female LCDR of Japanese descent, approximately 5 feet tall) facing off in the door of the tent with a 6’5” Army LtCOL. Seiko stands there and informs him that there is no F***ing way that he is entering the tent (this took the Army dude back). One of the problems with the Army is that they are quite inflexible. He was told a tent, and went to take it. Never mind that there are 60-70 empty tents all around our tents, he wants ours. Eventually, our Kung Fu was greater than his Kung Fu (we had a Navy Captain in our back pocket – also, we’re the people that this unit wants to have come help them) so he capitulated and moved his people 12 feet to the left to an empty tent. With that behind us, we’re set to head to the JCCS-1 (Joint CREW Composite Squadron One – the Navy command I work for) headquarters building tomorrow morning to find out our jobs. I really have no preference as to which job I get, but I’d love to stay near Baghdad or head North towards Mosul (the Kurds like us). My sister keeps joking that I should head South to where the Polish Regiments are doing their part for the coalition. I would have to brush up on my rudimentary Polish – I can ask you if you speak Polish, but after that I can’t respond. Wish me luck.
-Grease out.

February 19, 2007 –
I found out late yesterday that I would be one of the lucky folks (not) who will have to wait an extra week before we start training. The picked the folks who have to get right to their jobs to relieve someone to go this week. This leads me to believe that my job will be with one of the surge units that has not arrived yet. I always hypothesized that it was not a coincidence that we all received orders when we did. I think this surge was on the minds of the war planners for some time. That being said, I still have no idea who I’ll be working for or where. I’m not as concerned as some of the others, I’ll find out when I find out. Until then, I’ll hang out this week.
Today is my son’s fourth birthday. He’s an amazing kid. He has this ability to find joy in almost anything. He’s just as happy playing by himself as with the rest of us. If I was there today, I’m sure he’d drag me upstairs to help him build a new and fascinating world for Thomas the Tank Engine and friends. My wife and I really have given him too much of the Thomas stuff, but we have as much fun playing with it as he does, so it’s kind of like a family toy. I truly hope he is able to forget this part of his life where I was gone, I hate missing birthdays. It’s only a day, but I know he’s still waking up wondering if I’m there or not.

The first group went off to class today, while the rest of us went to Al Faw Palace to get our ID badges. You would not believe this place. The opulence this place has (in stark contrast to the living conditions of Saadam’s people) is amazing. The artistry and stonework leaves the U.S. in the dust. The fact that this was constructed on the backs of a starving people makes our job here all the more real.

Okay, after a slight break, I have SOME idea of my job here. The placement guy for JCCS-1 came by with a job list for everyone … except me. He read off my name and said, “see me.” Apparently, they have yet to decide between two jobs for me, because of my somewhat unique skillset. They will either assign me at MNC-I (Working in the headquarters building – Al Faw Palace) or they will assign me in Qatar. Both jobs sound interesting and challenging at the same time. I think I’d like the Baghdad one better. Somehow, going off to war and spending it in cushy digs in Qatar (beer and hotel rooms) doesn’t seem like the most fulfilling role. Also, if I went to Qatar, I’d lose out on some of my money (Hostile Fire pay and maybe the tax-free altogether). Either way, I’ll be in Baghdad until they figure out where they need me. Oh well, in the words of the immortal Scarlett O’Hara, “Tomorrow IS another day.” This is something to worry about then (Seeing as how tomorrow is a free day for me – maybe I’ll go try to find the gym).
-Grease out.

February 20, 2007 –
Another day, no job for me. I woke up pretty late (around 10) and decided to join some friends on the daily trek to the Exchange complex (I was in need of some soap). It’s definitely one of the stranger exchanges on the planet. It’s built inside of a large tent (like a soft sided Quonset hut) that’s placed inside of a large warehouse-like corrugated metal building. Inside this exchange is a strange collection of electronics, toiletries, and tactical gear. So far I have purchased: A small rug, an Iraqi surge suppressor (for the computer) and quite a few Diet-Cokes (they have American Diet Coke, vice the Haji version they serve at the DFAC (Dining hall).

Okay, I am now a force to be reckoned with. Our supply guy just came by and gave us 9mm ammo for our pistols (It’s a requirement to have a gun and ammo to get into the exchange or DFAC, but we’ve been blowing it off and just taking the gun). With my 30 rounds of ammo, I’m ready to take any objective (LOL, If the war effort comes down to me and my 30 rounds … learn to speak Farsi … we’ve lost at that point). I think now’s a good time to go visit the gym I found earlier (Body-for-Wife has officially begun). More soon.
-Grease out.

February 21, 2007 –
Today started like all of my days in country have so far … wake up, try to come up with something to do. I know it sounds like whining, but it’s frustrating to be here and not have a single thing to do. An admin type from JCCS-1 stopped by to collect records, so I gave her mine. She returned shortly and gave them back to me saying, “I don’t have you on my list.” Okay, strike one. I went over to the gym and bumped into ‘Mule’ (I’ll use callsigns for folks over here, so as not to give away sensitive info). He’s in pretty much the same boat as me … not a thing to do. After we finished our ‘hour of power’ we decided to head to the HQ building after lunch. The biggest problem with being here with no job is: No means of transportation. Mule and I tried out the bus stop, and bumped into a nice guy from KBR (one of the big contractors over here). He offered us a ride to the Palace, where we could look for an alternate means of transportation to the HQ building. On the way, we found out that this guy has been in country for 22 months and spends most of his time as a convoy driver. Mule asked him how many times he’d been ‘blown up,’ and this guy told us about his two encounters with IED’s. The first one blew the tire off of his truck, and he was thrown from the cab (another good reason for seatbelts), the second one just disabled the truck. It just amazes me that the money these guys are earning is worth that type of risk to them.

Several car rides later (thanks to some friends we met on the way), we wound up at the HQ building. Once again, folks had no idea what to do with us. After an hour of killing time, the Suppo (‘Chop’) offered to take us on a little tour. We grabbed some fru-fru coffee at the Green Beans Coffee Shop (a staple on the U.S. Bases) and he rolled us through neighborhoods that obviously used to be homes for Iraqi citizens. It just amazes me that we have wholesale taken over parts of this city. One has to wonder, “Where did all the people go?” I know if it was me, I wouldn’t be too happy about being uprooted from my home. Maybe this is what fuels some of the insurgency. I’m sure the U.S. compensated these folks in some way (built them a new home, gave them jobs with one of the contractors, etc.), but that isn’t always enough when it comes to your home. Think of those guys who hold out against ‘Eminent Domain’ land seizures. It’s not the money, it’s your home, and it’s where your kids grew up. I just see this as one of MANY challenges that lie ahead for the Coalition. As it stands now, I sit here on my cot (fresh with mattress stolen from one of the other empty tents) and wonder what the future holds. Hell, at this point, I’d be happy with a job. We’ll let that hold until next week. Maybe I’ll go to the gym again (makes the Missus happy when I say things like that).
-Grease out.

February 22, 2007 –
The waiting for something to do lifestyle is starting to wear on me. Today was an off day for the gym (a good thing as my body needs to recover from the last two days – I may still go for a short run later), so most of the day was spent in the tent. I stopped by the Haji Bazaar this morning to grab some goofy gifts for my brother’s and sister. As I entered the tent, the rain began … and kept going. The soil here is only about two inches deep before you get to bedrock, so any chance of drainage is nil. The mud is this kind of gooey light brown-gray mess, and it gets on everything. The rocks they put down to combat the mud just wind up sticking to your shoe in the mud, so that’s nice. I’m surprised they don’t have more injuries from slipping in the mud. Having spent my share of winters in the Midwest, this stuff is like ice when it’s fresh. I almost bit it several times today before I got my ‘ice legs’ under me. You know, the ability to glide on top of the ice without busting your butt. It works most of the time, but everyone who has spent a winter in the North will tell you, eventually you will misjudge it and wind up on your keester. Today was a good day, no mishaps … score one for Grease … tomorrow may be a different animal though.

Some of the folks not in class who know what their job is met with the folks they are relieving today, so it was a quiet day in the tent. Most folks were out getting tours of the places they will work. I had planned to go out several times today, but circumstances told me that the tent was the best option. You see, it’s Thursday in Baghdad … Thursday is wedding day in their culture, and weddings are celebrated with random gunfire in the air. Some bright soul in charge has decided that, to ‘win their hearts and minds,’ we will allow each household to have one gun with ammunition … not the best way to control the populous. All day long we heard random bouts of gunfire. There are three types of gunfire here in the ‘Wild Wild West’: The first is short bursts of American gunfire (M-16, M-249, M-240). These are the convoys testing weapons before leaving the ‘wires’ (the compound). This type is usually short and well directed (they have a dirt hill that they blow the heck out of). The second type is longer volleys of American guns and AK-47 fire. This is a firefight. It can last several minutes or longer depending on how long it takes to eliminate the threat (When I say “eliminate the threat,” this doesn’t always mean killing an insurgent – sometimes they just run away … a soft kill so to speak). This gets your attention because, if we hear it, it’s probably close to the wires (the borders of Camp Liberty/Victory aren’t too far away – within eyesight of our position). You stop, take note of where the fighting is, then resume your routine. The third type of gunfire is the strangest. This is the celebratory fire following weddings, parties, etc. This one really gets your attention, because these assclowns are firing randomly in the air, with no thought to where the bullet will come down. This is why we live behind the giant cement walls. Apparently the cement is high enough to stop any rounds that might cause harm. Either way, I stay inside during the jackassery. My soft sided tent might not provide much protection, but it might slow said bullet down enough so that it only bruises me … I know it’s not much of a defense, but I’m going with it.

The bullets are one thing, but the mortars and rockets are another. The insurgents were overly active today. There is no advance warning for the mortars, just a big boom off in the distance. Thankfully, mortars don’t have huge range, so we’re pretty safe here. We did have our first rocket attack today. You can hear these if you’re outside (that whistle like in the cartoons). They fire the rockets in salvos. One boom, then another, then another, then sirens. Apparently today’s attack didn’t really hit anything, and they dispatched the insurgents quickly after that (The giant voice warning system came on and said “ALL CLEAR” – I appreciated that … I would have appreciated it more if the giant voice actually told us about the attack BEFORE it happened). After that, I decided that I would remain in the tent for the rest of the day … my goal is to go home without any medals that have ‘purple’ in them. The nice thing is, both sides take the nights off, so I think I’ll go for a little jog. Until tomorrow.
-Grease out.

February 23, 2007 –
It’s amazing how quickly you transfer into deployment mode. Our (the group in my tent) conversations up to this point have been quite professional. That changed today … we have reached the threshold of stupidity. I was involved in a ten minute conversation today about the effects of fat-free (Olesta) chips on your digestive tract (read: anal seepage). We also had a long conversation about one of our tent neighbors, who laughs like a hyena. Let’s call him ‘Taz.’ Taz laughs at almost everything, and you can hear him several tents away. My thought was, anyone who can find that much joy in such a dismal place, he’s doing something right.

It dried out today, so the walks back and forth to places on the base were easier. There is a bus system, but it’s rarely where you need it, and it doesn’t go to far. That being said, most of my journeys are on foot. It’s probably better that way, it’s a nice walk back from the gym when you have beaten yourself silly for an hour.

We spent the dinner hour observing a time honored ritual – deployment dating. We were seated across from a couple who were obviously into each other. It was quite amazing to watch the body language as they had their dinner. The hair toss, the occasional foot touch, etc. As self-proclaimed ‘old married guys,’ we found the whole thing quite comical. I’m sure the two of them were sitting there saying, “There’s a bunch of strange dudes staring at us … creepy.”

After dinner we moved over to the MWR tent (Morale, Welfare and Recreation) to jump on the phones/internet and listen to the 1st Cavalry band play a selection of hits. These kids were surprisingly good. Obviously, they have had ample time to practice. Well, it’s about time to go call home and talk to my kids (they get home from school around 3:30 EST, which is 11:30 PM my time), so I’ll sign off. More to come.
-Grease out.