Morale Suppression Police ...

As I sit here on this late Saturday night, I feel compelled to write to my good readers of a grave injustice (I also feel compelled to write because the cable is out in my trailer, so there’s nothing to watch). Apparently, the Navy has sent over several Morale Suppression Teams to Baghdad (sailors should feel at home). These are small, elite teams whose sole purpose is to take a crew’s spirits and flush them right down the toilet. These are the men who coined the phrase, “The beatings will continue until morale improves.” I agree, it makes no sense to have these folks in theatre, but they are here and hard at work. The MST’s have become smart in our age of net-centric warfare, they do most of they’re work in almost complete secrecy. I, however, have discovered one of their nefarious plots to keep us behaving like sheep.

It all started when I looked on the website several days ago to check the weather forecast for Baghdad. I know my site has a weather gadget, but it doesn’t always work in the military domain (remember, the man trying to keep me down, etc. – that is an example of OVERT MST actions). I glanced at the weather and saw that the 30th of May was going to be back in the mid-90’s again. I felt my heart leap as we have not had a sub-100 day in some time, the break would be welcomed. My excitement continued throughout the day and into the next. I glanced at the five-day forecast the next day and was shocked to find that the 30th had gone from a high of 95 degrees to a high of 106 degrees. The 31st, however was now listed as a high of 97. As I continued watching the forecast over the next week (it was a slow week), I realized that the fifth day of every forecast was always lower than it should be, just to get our hopes up for a day. On top of that, the forecast was accurately displayed until approximately 10 AM, then it was changed to add this sick joke to our lives. Do the MST’s have so little to do here (morale is pretty low in the desert anyway) that they resort to teasing us with promises of good weather? Or is it some young soldier who thinks the whole thing is funny … okay it’s some young soldier who thinks it’s funny – we found it quite amusing as well. So never fear Baghdad residents, good weather is only five days away.

-Grease out.